ASLTerp

Is that Mr. T? Oh, no, it's not.

2010-03-23T20:49:00.003-04:00

Someday, I'll try to go back and fill in the blanks on my lengthy absence from the blogging world, but for now, suffice it to say that the school year has been a pretty hard one. There have been some hilarious moments thrown into the mix, however; honestly, I work in a middle school how could there not be?

Case in point: last Friday, I walked into first period, sixth-grade science class and was immediately approached by one of the deaf students. Now, there are two deaf students (really, hard of hearing, but whatever) in this class; I interpret for one student, a girl, and a colleague interprets for the other student, a boy. The boy is the one who approached me...to show off his new hairdo. Which, as I'm sure you can infer from the title of this post, was eerily similar to Mr. T's famous coif. Coincidentally, this student's name also happens to start with the letter 'T,' so nicknaming him "Mr. T" would be perfect. Except that I can't use that name now because I made the split-second decision upon his approach to consciously ignore his new hair cut, for several reasons:

The first being, it looks ridiculous.

The second, I know this student pretty well by now and I knew that he was just looking to get a reaction from me, just like the times he played Charles Nelson Reilly with his glasses. Or tried to get me to arm wrestle in class (I actually caved once on this during some down time at the end of the period and soundly defeated him, which one would think would stop him from challenging me again and again, but it did not). Or stood next to his desk and attempted to moonwalk up and down the aisle while class is in session. Or various other wacky behaviors.

The third, because I know this student so well by now, I knew that he was going to be distracted by his hair for the entire day and me making a fuss out of his hair was just going to feed into that distraction. And he was distracted by his hair, literally touching it, pointing to it, and turning to the other students to get them to notice every five to ten minutes. And I'm not exaggerating on the time frame. I'm in the same classroom as this kid five periods out of the school day and the "look at my hair" behavior didn't stop.

The fourth, I was horrified by the mohawk and my mother taught me that if I didn't have anything nice to say than I shouldn't say anything at all. Thanks, Mom! (And sorry about the first reason, it wasn't very polite of me).

Good Reasons Why I Don't Work in an Elementary School Setting, No. 1

2009-10-20T18:10:00.003-04:00

Today I went over to the elementary school to interpret for an afterschool enrichment/tutoring program. I was in the school's main office, waiting to sign in, when a little boy came in, crying. He was with a teacher who went up to the main counter to ask the secretary to call this boy's parents because he had "pooped his pants." At the mention of this, the little boy, who looked to be about kindergarten-age, started sobbing even harder. I hadn't even been in the building for five minutes before I encountered a strangely typical elementary school problem.

The middle school may have drama, but it does not have students who poop their pants.

Trendsetter?

2009-07-16T17:02:00.003-04:00

Today I'm wearing a pair of silver ballet flats that I purchased to wear for my brother's wedding, actually they're the shoes that go with the dress I'm wearing in my profile picture, when I remembered a good story from school last year. I wore my silver shoes to school this past spring and one of the eighth grade girls for whom I interpret was very impressed with them. She asked me where I bought them, a Cato store, which they don't have around here, I actually bought them in Maryland, but I told her it was a store like Deb or Fashion Bug, which they do have around here. I didn't think much about it, until two days later when this girl came to school wearing silver ballet flats quite similar to my own. She, being in middle school, and thus more fashion-conscious than her dorky interpreter, choose to accessorize with a super-wide silver belt and bangly jewelry. I prefer a more understated look, but I'm an interpreter.

This experience in turn, reminds me of the time I worked in a first grade class, right after I graduated. I finished up the school year working for a local elementary school. There was a hard of hearing boy there whose parents and teachers wanted to try interpreting services to see if that would improve his learning. It did because they wanted to hire me for the following school year, but I ended up going to the district where I now work because they paid much better and I wasn't the only interpreter in the district, like I would have been with this little boy.

Anyway, I was in a first grade classroom for the first time ever (well, ever since I myself was in first grade); up to that point all of my interpreting experience had been at the high school and university level. The youngest students I ever observed for practicums had been fifth grade and my sixteen-week student interpreting had been at the high school level. I was pretty unprepared for how impressionable the little kiddies were. The first day I went to interpret in this first grade classroom, I wore a skirt. The second day I went to school, I noticed that well over half the little girls in this class came to school wearing dresses and skirts; none of them had been wearing a skirt the previous day. I still smile when I think about those kids copying me.

Summer Vacation

2009-07-02T17:09:00.002-04:00

I love summer vacation. Much as I like my job, I don't really miss the kids or the hectic schedule. I do however wonder how the kids are doing at home. As I've mentioned several times before, none of the kids with whom I work have families that can competently, let alone fluently, sign with them. Any time we have an extended break from school I always wonder what the kids are up to and what they're missing out on.

I've been pretty busy lately with packing and cleaning and moving and now I have to start unpacking boxes. Plus, I don't currently have Internet service at home set up, but once I do, I'll be sure to get some more things up on the blog!

Ten Years Ago, or, Random Thoughts About the End of the School Year

2009-06-02T19:35:00.003-04:00

The end of the school year always makes me think about when I was student. I graduated from high school ten years ago, which makes me completely ancient to the little kids at the middle school. Today at school, the little sixth grade girl was looking at the newspaper and, for some reason, ended up looking at the obituaries. She pointed out one woman and made the sign for "old," but she inflected it to make the sign mean "extremely old/ancient." I thought she was going to show me some woman who had lived to be 98 years old or something but she pointed out a lady who had been born in 1944. The other deaf student and I started to tease her, both of us saying that 65 is not "ancient" old, sure it may be old, but to inflect the sign for "old" like that was not appropriate. I guess to a twelve year old, 65 IS ancient.

Today when I was leaving the building I ran into one of the deaf ed teachers from the elementary school (they have three in their building). This particular teacher's husband is a teacher in my building and she was dropping their son off on her way to an appointment. Apparently it was their little boy's last day of school (kindergarten) and he was sobbing about school being done for the year. I'm pretty sure that none of the middle school students will be as upset come Thursday. I'm also sure that no matter how much the tweens are anticipating summer vacation, EVERY staff member in the school is anticipating it a thousand times more than the students are. I don't remember wishing for summer vacation when I was student. I know I was glad that I had a break from assignments but I always liked school and I didn't want to be apart from my friends for three months. Now that I actually work in a school, I live for summer vacation. I LOVE having three months off. I like being able to sleep in (although for me sleeping in means not getting up until 8:30, maybe 9:00, instead of my usual 6:00 a.m.), I like being able to sit around and read books or watch movies or play on the computer for as long as I want, I like being able to go on trips and not have to feel guilty about missing school because there are no subs available for interpreters in my district, I like the freedom of not having a schedule.

However, if one was ever to ask me if I didn't like my job or working with the kids or wished to do something else, I would say, "Heck no." I love what I do. That doesn't mean that I don't appreciate a break every now and again, but I do enjoy my job.

One thing I liked about the last day of school when I was a kid was that our bus driver always brought popsicles for the kids on her bus route. That was pretty awesome.

The kids have been taking their district-wide end of the year tests the past few days. The kids hate the tests for the obvious reason that they're cumulative and therefore difficult. I hate the tests because they're always chock full of typos, leading me to wonder what kind of incompetent heads of departments think it's okay to expect the students to perform well on tests that are full of grammatical, editorial, and other errors. For example, this year's sixth grade science final repeats several questions verbatim, taking them from one page and then putting them on a page further into the test. One would think that that would mean easy points for the students; if they've already answered it once, they should be able to answer it again. But I just see sixth grade students who are frustrated by the time they get to question forty and don't realize they've seen that same question three pages ago. Not to mention that if a student did remember seeing that question before, it's possible that he answered it incorrectly the first time and will answer it incorrectly the second time, thus losing double the points.

Speaking of finals, I'll never forget the time I wrecked the curve for the class on a French final. Our teacher was going to grade the exam on a curve, which almost never happened at my school no matter how much certain students begged for it. She had to tell the class that she decided not to curve our test grades because one student earned a 103 on her test. Sorry, guys. When I was in high school, I was often exempt from most of my finals. A lot of our teachers wouldn't make us take the final if we already had an A in the class and our school had a policy that students could be exempt from one final exam for each grading period of perfect attendance (up to two finals per semester). I always opted out of my science or math finals. I mean, who really wants to take a calculus final? Yuck. French (I through III) was one of the easiest subjects I've ever taken, so naturally, I always opted to take the final in there.

I also took two years of German when I was in high school. Of course, my trusty sidekick, the Snicklefritz, in her pre-Snicklefritz days, was with me. This morning I randomly thought of one of the great tragedies of our high school careers... As I've mentioned, I was exempt from most of my final exams, so when I was senior I had close to a week off between the last day of official classes and graduation because all of the other grades were taking their finals during that week. Sis and I went into the school a few times during the week for graduation rehearsal, various end of year things, etc., and it was on one of those trips into the school that we found out that the facilitator of our German class had thrown out our final German project. We took German class through a satellite feed from Kentucky, so all of our projects and tests were mailed to the teacher and then sent back to us at the school. Our final project that year was to put together a calendar of German-related things, so Sis and I pulled the only all-nighter of our high school careers and created a calendar featuring famous German athletes. I can't even remember all of them, but I know we included Michael Schumacher, Steffi Graf, Boris Becker, and Katarina Witt. We were so ticked when we went into the school that day and the lady who was responsible for mailing our schoolwork to the teacher in Kentucky told us that she had received the graded calendar and then thrown it out because we weren't at school that week and she "didn't think that we would want it back." Ten years later and my blood pressure still rises when I think about it. Sorry Sis, to bring up the bad memory of that experience.

Meanest Interpreter in the World

2009-04-20T16:11:00.003-04:00

Who's the meanest interpreter in the world? It could be me, considering I made a sixth-grader cry on Friday. But, I'll let you be the judge.

I interpret for two deaf students in the same language arts class, a little boy and a little girl. Last Thursday, the little girl was absent (a frequent occurrence). Friday, both students were back in class and the little girl had picked up her make-up assignment and started working on it during class. I was interpreting the current day's lesson for her and the other student when this little girl started asking me for help on her make-up work. I stopped interpreting for a moment to tell her, "Not right now, the teacher is talking, pay attention," and went back to interpreting the lesson. Apparently my response to her demands for help was unsatisfactory, because this girl then started hitting her desk to get my attention and was emphatically pointing at her make-up worksheet. I looked at her and then pointed to the teacher and again said, "Pay attention."

At this point I could see that she was getting very frustrated with me. Her paper was on her desk and she kept poking at it and hitting her desk. Now, keep in mind, there is another deaf student in this class, the teacher is busy teaching a new lesson, and this little girl has used no language whatsoever, she's only been hitting her desk, pointing to her paper and angrily looking at me. So, I said, "Excuse me," to the little boy and then stopped interpreting for a minute to talk to the little girl. In a basic English translation, I told her to knock it off. "I'm in the middle of interpreting. The teacher is talking and not only are you missing the information, but now [the little boy] is missing it too. And, if you need my help, you could try asking for it politely, saying 'please help me,' instead of being rude and pounding on your desk." I lectured this little girl for probably 45 seconds. At the end of my lecture the little girl just sat still for a moment and then she started to cry. I gave her some kleenex and then I just left her alone for a little bit because I didn't want to draw too much attention to her (she didn't need all of the other students to stare at her) and the teacher went on with class.

I felt kind of bad that this girl started to cry because of me, but I don't think I was too harsh with her. The two of us ended up talking about it a little bit later and she was okay then.

"FAMILY FUN: Your Mom and Her Sister"

2009-03-28T17:19:00.002-04:00

Again, from Stephen Colbert's I Am America (and So Can You!) 2009 desk calendar, this entry for March 19 kind of piggy-backs on my last entry about twin sisters:

"Is your mom the one who 'got the looks' or the one who 'got the brains'? Either way, she resents her sister for getting the other one!"

Twin Sister MEANS Twin Sister

2009-03-23T18:23:00.003-04:00

Last week I was telling two of the kids about traveling in a plane and what that's like and about a month ago I was helping the little sixth grade girl with a homework paper about knights and suits of armor, so I told the two sixth graders that I would bring in some pictures of when I went to Europe. Sis and I flew over to Amsterdam and then spent some time in Germany, Paris, and London with our older brother, went to tons of museums, etc. Today, I took those pictures and some other stuff that I picked up in Europe to school to share with the kids. The two of them FREAKED OUT over those pictures. I had no idea how utterly fascinated they would be by some old ticket stubs, a map of the Paris Metro, and some random pictures.

I started off by showing them my airline ticket stubs from the flights Sis and I took. We looked up the cities on the map and I told them a little bit about the whole ticket/boarding process. Then I showed them some ticket stubs from the subway and explained how I had to put money into a machine and the ticket spit out of the machine and then I had to put it into the turnstile and walk through to get to the platform for the train. We looked at the subway map a little bit and they were impressed that we managed to find our way around Paris considering everything was written in French.

And then the freak out started. They saw a picture of Sis at the British Museum, standing next to some Egyptian artifacts; I told them that I took the picture, that it was my sister in the picture, not me. The little girl didn't believe me at first, until she saw a picture of Sis and me standing next to each other and then she half-screamed, half-shrieked, startling the whole class.

This is a perfect example of how unbelievably visual these students are. I have told these students that I have a twin sister on numerous occasions. I have said that we look remarkably similar. My name sign IS the sign for twin, only instead of the 'T' handshape, I use the first initial of my name. The little boy in this class has a twin brother himself, and knows that being twins means that someone else in this world looks like you. But the fact that I am a twin did not register for these two until they saw the picture of me and a girl who looks almost exactly like me standing next to each other. They did not really understand that when I sign TWIN SISTER, SAME AGE, FACE SAME (the ASL signs I use), that I mean twin sister.

Their reactions were hilarious. They started going through my pictures trying to guess if it was me or Sis, trying to tell us apart if we were together in the picture, comparing the pictures of us if we weren't together. A couple of times I thought they were going to rip my pictures apart in their frenzy to compare which of them thought it was me or Sis.

Later I was telling a couple of the other interpreters about this and they were equally as surprised by the kids' reactions. It's a little scary to think that I can sign something simple like, "I have a twin sister," and the students don't really comprehend what that means until I show them a visual. What does that mean for the rest of what I'm signing...like in language arts or math class? Yikes, are you getting anything of what I just signed (interpreted)? We came to the conclusion that the little boy who has the twin brother probably did not realize that twin is a generic term, not specific to boys and not specific to his brother and him. There are more twins in this world than just this boy and his brother. I promised them I would bring in a couple more pictures tomorrow; the little girl would especially like to see some wedding pictures. I'm not sure how much more their minds can take...especially when I blow their minds again by showing them a picture of Mom and her twin sister.

Flying Through the Clouds

2009-03-20T22:52:00.002-04:00

Today at school I had a totally cool but wistfully sad (for me) conversation with two of the little sixth graders about flying. We were sitting in study hall and I don't quite remember how we started talking about airplanes, but somehow we got on that topic. I was telling the two of them about what it's like to be up in an airplane, how it feels to take off and land, and what looking out the window feels like. I told them all about looking down at the ground and seeing mountains and buildings and roads and rivers far below. They were amazed when I said that airplanes can fly through the clouds and even go above the cloud cover. I explained that sometimes it can be dark and cloudy, even raining, and the plane can fly above the clouds where it is bright and sunny. I've flown above clouds so thick it looks like nothing but white cotton with no hint of the ground below and I've flown over the ocean with nothing to see below but endless water. (The little girl wisely said that with nothing to see but water, one could fall asleep at that point of the trip, until there was actually something exciting to see).

They were so fascinated, it was almost heartbreaking. They've never been on a plane before and I don't know when or if they will ever have the opportunity to fly somewhere. Their families certainly cannot afford to travel in such a manner. I know that not everyone on Earth gets the opportunity to fly in an airplane (heck, I'd never flown before the age of 21), but what struck me was not that their families may not be able to afford airline tickets, it was more that these two miss out on so many experiences because they cannot fluently (or even effectively, sometimes) communicate with their families. How many times have they seen something interesting and tried to tell their families about it? How many times have they seen something confusing and not been able to get an answer as to what they saw? How many times have they gone somewhere with their families and not fully realized what was going on? How many times have they sat at the dinner table and not known what was being discussed? They get a lot of their information from watching television, but how many times do they wonder what the people on the screen are saying? Even with closed captions, these two children's reading ability doesn't allow full access to the information.

Fred Thompson is NOT Digging It!

2009-03-17T21:12:00.002-04:00

Hmm, since I've signed up for Facebook, I seem to have neglected this blog. My sincere apologies. Actually, I'm addicted to the game Geo Challenge and it's hard enough for me to stop playing in order to go to bed and get to school, let alone publish some blog posts.

Another reason I haven't posted lately is because all of my good stories are either stories about the frustrations of dealing with the deaf ed. teacher at my school or stories that require a listener to actually see me because they involve some kind of signing. A lot of the good stories I have involving the kids require me to actually show what we're talking about and since there is no written form of ASL, I can't type about it.

Most of the people who read this blog know that "Fred Thompson" is the name I use to refer to my downstairs neighbor. He is thusly named because of the little Fred Thompson campaign sticker that was so jauntily displayed on his Impala's bumper for so long. Plus, my neighbor is an older gentleman, so the name fits. Anyway, Fred Thompson just rang my apartment's door bell to ask if the car that was so rudely parked in front of his garage could perhaps belong to any guests that may be visiting. I answered the door even though I was wearing my Care Bears pajama pants because I heard his horn honking repeatedly in the parking area outside our garages and knew that if someone was parked in front of my garage, preventing me from pulling in, I would want people to respond to my ringing of the doorbell. Of course, the Care Bears pajama pants would indicate that I did not, in fact, have guests over, so the car parked outside his garage was not connected to any business concerning my apartment. I did, however, commiserate with him over how ticked I would be if someone had parked in front of my garage.

"A Word to All You Feminists"

2009-01-28T10:43:00.002-05:00

Again, from Stephen Colbert's I Am America (And So Can You!) 2009 desk calendar:

"A Word to All You Feminists:

Stop 'liberating' moms by trying to make them join the workforce. They're already doing the job that God put them here to do: Everything."

Thanks, Mom, for doing everything.

We're under attack! Of course we're having a snow day!

2009-01-15T16:21:00.002-05:00

Apparently, the entire Northeast Ohio region is under an "Arctic Assault." Somehow, I think I'll pull through. It takes more than a few feet of snow and single-digit temperatures to discourage me. I wish I could say the same for some of my fellow Buckeyes. People, we live in Ohio. That means there will be snow and cold temperatures. It happens every year; it's not a surprise.

The "Arctic Assault" reference is courtesy of the local CBS affiliate, whose local news I detest. I was catching up on some of my recorded shows when I caught literally five minutes of the four o'clock news broadcast (yes, the CBS affiliate obscenely has a two and a half hour block of local news everyday--from 4:00 to 6:30) and heard no less than four anchors and weathermen refer to the weather as an "Arctic Assault." These people are so ridiculous. In fact, they continue to harp on the low temperatures and the windchill, while I turn to the NBC station and find out that there has been a PLANE CRASH in the Hudson River. A PLANE CRASH!! I turn back to CBS and see that they have their "girl on the street" talking to some snow-plow drivers and remarking upon her "spunky" hat. Seriously.

I know a lot of people who have disparaged the northeast Ohio local news, but the CBS affiliate is the worst. I will never forget the time I was watching the news and the on-location reporter actually swore in his report. He was talking about some sinkhole/pipe/water main problem in some neighborhood and he literally said, "The residents here are mad as hell," (and I remember the quote verbatim because I was so stunned a reporter actually used the term "mad as hell"). What local news broadcast uses that kind of language and then actually wants to be taken seriously?

I have to change the channel...the weatherman just referred to the temperature as being "stupid cold." Ack.

New Year's Resolutions

2009-01-12T16:40:00.003-05:00

Well, I see from the poll that everyone out there approves of New Year's Resolutions. Does that mean that all of you set some goals for yourselves this year? I actually wrote a few resolutions because I think that setting goals, as long as they are realistic, is a good thing to do and what better time than at the New Year?

Some of my resolutions include cooking more at home (we tend to eat out a lot because it's more convenient) and learning to cook some new things. I also would like to use my sewing machine more often. I don't know if I can achieve the craftiness level of the Snicklefritzes (see the blog), but there are some projects I would like to try. I would also like to learn how to use a pattern (up till now I've only sewed things by cutting them out after using a ruler to measure lengths). Patterns that come in envelopes are little bit scary.

I thought about coming up with some kind of resolution concerning books and reading, but I read ninety books last year and I decided that quantity isn't quality. I don't mean that I read a lot of stupid books last year, because I didn't (although there were certainly a few that I gave bad reviews on Goodreads), but I don't think that I need to set some kind of a goal in regards to reading. I already read a lot.

Professionally, I think I would like to try some community interpreting (probably during the summer). I'm so used to working with children that it would be nice to be exposed to some different levels of language use. I recently took the EIPA which is an interpreting assessment for educational interpreters. I did okay, but I know that I can improve my score, so I want to either retake it at some point or take the RID/NAD certification test, the NIC, which is a generalist assessment of skills. And, finally, now that I'm a full time interpreter my degree and years of experience actually play a role in my salary level, so getting a master's degree would be beneficial. I'm thinking, if I want to stay in the educational interpreting field, that I should get a master's in literacy/reading education because of all the language issues that I deal with everyday. If I want a master's in interpreting I'd have to go to Gallaudet. I don't know.

"Old People"

2009-01-07T16:41:00.002-05:00

Monday's page from the Stephen Colbert "I Am America (and So Can You!)" page-a-day calendar featured Stephen's thoughts on "Old People." It's pretty hilarious, especially if one is aware of the medical history of my husband.

"Old people are tough. They made shoes out of newspaper and twine, and subsisted on a thin stew of newspaper and twine. Sometimes they had to go without shoes and stew altogether so that there would be enough newspaper and twine to treat the baby's Scarlet Fever."

Good-bye 2008!

2008-12-31T15:48:00.002-05:00

I can't believe 2008 is nearly over. I had a good Christmas vacation, visiting lots of family, eating lots of food, and opening lots of presents. In fact, we got so many DVD movies and boxed sets that Mike and I went out to Best Buy and bought a new shelving unit for all of them. Last year seemed to be the year for getting board games (we received several and gave several others as presents), but this year was certainly the year for DVDs. Now I will have plenty to watch for all those days when I'm home from school.

Mike and I spent the last few days cleaning around the apartment. Forget spring cleaning, I think people should partake in new year cleaning. We've gotten quite a bit done, but there's still plenty of paperwork to sort through and either shred or file.

Good-bye 2008! You were (like most years) a little bit of everything: happiness and new adventures with enough sadness and stress to make the good times seem even better. Here's to hoping that 2009 will be even better, with plenty of good stories for me to blog about. Cheers!!

Extra Vacation Day

2008-12-19T08:30:00.003-05:00

I can't believe it...I'm actually a little bit bummed that school was canceled today. Yes, you read that correctly. The interpreter who LOVES when we have snow days is sad that she didn't have school today. I'm disappointed that I won't be able to give the kiddies their Christmas treats (candy canes and pencils--so stop bumming pencils off of your interpreter already). I'm also sad that I won't be able to sit through class period upon class period of Christmas movies (seriously, because when the kids are watching Christmas movies it means that I don't have to interpret, thus giving me free time, although I have been forced to watch some really bad movies at school, i.e. the Spongebob Squarepants movie).

Oh, well, I'm sure I'll find something to occupy my time today. :o)

Jolly (belated) Twelve Day!

2008-12-13T18:40:00.003-05:00

Jolly Twelve Day to all my readers! Yes, I'm a day behind, seeing as it's now the 13th, but better late than never.

Twelve Day, for all of you who are unfamiliar with the holiday, was invented by some of my friends back when they lived in the dormitories at Kent State. It was their way of celebrating Christmas before everyone had to leave campus for winter break (also, it's a celebration of the twelfth day of the twelfth month). They would exchange cheapo gifts (college students, remember, do not have much money) and generally goof-off. Well, the tradition has continued and we celebrated last night in typical Twelve Day fashion.

Twelve Day has some rules to the gift-giving...in order to participate one must purchase three gifts that total $15. I know some celebrants who buy one really nice/cool gift and then spend $1 or $2 on the remaining two gifts, but my goal is to usually buy three gifts at around $5 each. It's also important to remember that Twelve Day is not Christmas, so gifts are to be goofy/juvenile/tacky. Because there is a low price limit, random gifts from the dollar store are quite common.

I purchased a My Little Pony coloring book with some Crayola glitter crayons, a miniature Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader figurine set, and (my personal favorite) a package of High School Musical stickers and a Harlequin romance novel (The Italian Billionaire's Secret Love Child, no, I am not making up that title). Naturally, I made sure that the Harlequin book and HSM stickers went to one of the guys in the group.

I received three coloring books, a box of Cars metallic crayons, a set of Hannah Montana crayons, a pirate sword, a Winnie-the-Pooh paddle ball game, a Pirates of the Caribbean night light, and randomly, a bride and groom cake topper. Good stuff.

"The Brainy, Organized One"

2008-12-09T20:47:00.002-05:00

I see from the poll results that I have a legion of Simon-lovers out there reading my blog. That's cool, I voted for Simon. I don't know how accurate the poll is though, seeing as I know of at least one person who voted twice. Although, to be fair, if you stop and think about it, my husband definitely is both Simon AND Theodore-ish.

For a Simon-related aside, a couple of years ago the interpreters in my building came up with labels for one another. We had "The Militant One," "The Soft-Hearted One," and "The Brainy, Organized One," just to name a few. I, naturally, was labeled "The Brainy, Organized One."

Apparently, there is no kindness in my heart

2008-11-25T18:19:00.004-05:00

I'm all fired up, and not in a good way. I just had one of the most aggravating telemarketing calls ever. I'm so ticked off that I have to blog about it.

I just got off the phone with this woman who was calling on behalf of some society that helps blind children (I'm not sure what she said the name of the group was) and she wanted to sell me some products "packaged by blind children." They were products like low-energy/high-efficiency light bulbs and heavy-duty trash bags. I politely said, "No, thank you, I'm not interested at this time." And this woman kept asking me to buy these products and I kept politely refusing. So then she decided to guilt-trip me and that's when things got interesting.

She asked me if I was aware of the conditions of these children's lives and I said, "Yes, I am, I work with special needs children everyday."

"So," she proceeded, "you know that these children have disabilities and need our support?"

"I do," I succinctly answered.

"So why won't you help these children?"

"I do help them, I work with special needs children everyday."

"Well, you know our products are sold on the honor system, so you would not need to pay for them now. In fact, our lowest priced product is a set of scented candles for $20."

"No, thank you."

"So, you are unwilling to help these children?" (Meanwhile, every time I turn her down, she becomes more and more snide).

"It's not that I'm unwilling, I help children with special needs everyday. I'm just not interested in purchasing your products."

(And this is what really set me off): "Well, I hope in the future you can find some kindness in your heart to help these blind children."

(In a calmly controlled voice), "I work with special needs children everyday and I'm perfectly aware of their home situations. For you to assume that I'm some kind of cold-hearted person because I won't purchase your products, is totally off-base."

The conversation ended soon thereafter.

I was, and still am, very angry with this woman and the ridiculous guilt-trip she was trying to lay on me. Umm, no. In case I haven't mentioned it, I work with children who have special needs everyday. It's my job. Part of my job is to ensure that these students learn functional skills so that they can become productive members of society and not have to rely on some stupid woman selling overpriced products over the phone to give them a handout. You know, if I wasn't interested and passionate about working with those children, I wouldn't be doing what I do...everyday.

Whatever, just call me Ebenezer Scrooge.

The Grand Scheme of Things

2008-11-19T15:56:00.004-05:00

I am a member of a little understood, often misunderstood, profession: the education of deaf children. I've been interpreting for deaf children in the education setting for over three years now and it still never ceases to amaze me when teachers or other professionals say or do things that run contrary to the goal of educating said deaf children. I know they mean well, and they haven't been trained and/or educated on deafness and issues related to hearing loss, but sometimes I just want to tell them to stop and just think logically about deafness and the impact it could have on a child's education. Or sometimes, the teachers will be so intent on the little things that they lose sight of the bigger picture. The bigger picture being these kids gaining some kind of an understanding of the world around them and becoming independent.

Case in point: Monday in language arts the teacher was talking about the seven continents. I don't remember the reason behind this discussion (we were in language arts, not social studies) but the teacher kept singing this ridiculous song about the continents to try to get the students to memorize all seven. Now, censure me if you will, but I did not interpret the song; instead I employed the ASL technique of listing and I presented the continents several times in list form. At the end of this rigmarole of the teacher singing the song about eight times (and me listing the continents about thirty times), the teacher turned to me and asked if I thought that the student heard any of the song.

****Side Note: I cannot tell you how many times teachers have turned to me in the middle of class and asked me if so-and-so student has heard them. And about 99.975% of the time I will say, "No." That's my rote answer; the real answer is much more involved than a simple "no." Keep in mind that we're in the middle of class, a time when teaching/learning/thought processing, etc., is supposed to be occurring. Teachers ask me stuff all the time in the middle of class and I'm never quite sure how I'm supposed to respond. Like, am I supposed to drop my hands and answer them? Or am I supposed to try to interpret what the teacher just asked me and then reply using some janky form of SimCom (simultaneous communication=talking and signing at the same time and is literally impossible to do)? On days when I'm feeling particularly peckish, I just interpret the question straight and let the moment hang there, uncomfortably, until I finally turn and answer. I also hate it when teachers tell me not to interpret something, but I'm getting away from myself, that's a topic for another day. Anyway, back to the question of whether or not the student can hear the teacher...

First of all, depending on the student, yes, he/she can hear you. But I can't just say that to the teacher; teachers generally don't understand hearing and listening and comprehension. Hearing is not listening, listening is not comprehension. Also, hearing is not discrimination, meaning yes, the student hears noise and sounds, but he doesn't know what any of those sounds are. The ability to discriminate speech sounds can be quite difficult. Basically, some of the students who have some hearing ability hear Charlie Brown's teacher when you, the teacher, speaks. Now, you and I know what that sounds like. Yes, we can hear it, but does it have meaning?

Second, factor in all of the other noise in the classroom, which is more than just the students talking and making noise. EVERYTHING makes noise: writing, turning pages, moving one's chair, dropping a pencil, the heat register, etc. Interestingly, even though hearing people don't have the ability to NOT hear something (we can't turn our ears off, like deaf people can close their eyes), we're pretty good at tuning things out. But hearing aids amplify everything, not just the speech sounds. I've heard simulations of what hearing through amplification is like and it's difficult to pick out what is being said.

Third, I am not in that student's head. I can look at said student's audiogram and tell you what I think he can perceive, but as to what the student actually hears and then actually understands, I can't tell you. I don't know.

Those three points are what I really want to answer when teachers ask me if the student can hear them, but when we're in the middle of class I don't have time to expound on all of the finer points of listening and hearing, so I just say, "No."

****Side Note over, let's get back to my story.

Anyway, the language arts teacher asked me if the deaf student heard any of her song naming the continents. I, as I've just explained, said, "No." And then the teacher went on to express disappointment that said student had to miss out on it (believe me, kid, you weren't missing anything) and wondered if there wasn't some way that we could convey the rhythm of the song to him. I was flabbergasted by this teacher. And this is a teacher who is on the higher end of "getting it" when it comes to deafness. I just felt like we took a huge step backwards in our progress. And I felt like scratching my eyes out (but not really because then I couldn't do my job...well, I guess I could still voice-to-sign interpret, but learning new vocabulary would be super difficult). Normally, I wouldn't react so strongly to a statement like that, but this teacher was so earnest in her desire to get this kid to learn this song. Forget the fact that due to my stellar interpreting, utilizing the ASL linguistic feature of listing, this student now knows the seven continents, thus receiving the same understanding that the hearing students have.

I just wonder where the teachers' priorities are sometimes. Is it important for this boy to learn a silly song about the continents in language arts class? This boy reads at a first grade level but he's in the sixth grade. This boy struggles with multiple-meaning words. This boy has difficulty answering direct questions. He cannot always tell you the cause and effect of things. He will sign a beautiful answer to me but when it comes time to actually write the answer on his paper, he cannot. And you, language arts teacher, are worried that he didn't get to hear your song about the continents?

Post-Election Thoughts

2008-11-12T16:41:00.002-05:00

I haven't thought too much about the outcome of the election. The school levy I voted on failed, which is what I was hoping would happen. The casino issue also failed, again, what I wanted to happen. I don't have strong feelings about any of the actual candidates for whom I voted. Some of them won, some of them lost. I'm more of a wait and see kind of person. As in, okay, now Obama has been elected, let's see what he does.

One cool thing that happened at school the Wednesday after the election (we didn't have classes on that Tuesday) was a discussion I had with one of the deaf students about Obama. These deaf students who I work with are so cut off from so much information, I basically had a conversation about general presidential stuff. Like, the president serves for four years and then we vote again. The little boy didn't quite know what happened to a president after his term is done. He didn't realize that there are men who used to be president who are still alive. He was kind of equating all presidents with George Washington and Abraham Lincoln, not realizing the connection between Presidents Washington and Bush (that the presidency is an ongoing office). Randomly, then, when I was discussing past presidents I had to explain that there is a difference between being dead and being killed. This little boy and I were supposed to be doing science homework, but sometimes conversations with the deaf students about real life occurrences take precedence.

Thoughts on Election Eve

2008-11-03T16:50:00.008-05:00

Well, tomorrow's the big day...the day we've been waiting for for two years. I personally cannot wait for the elections to be over and done with and for my mailbox to not be inundated with propaganda. One of the downsides of not being affiliated with one party or the other is that I am sent endless amounts of campaign postcards and fliers. Yes, people, when you contribute to one party or one campaign or another, YOU are responsible for the ridiculous amounts of wasted natural resources that I find in my mailbox everyday. If anyone cares, for the record, I have received roughly triple the amount of mailings from the Obama campaign that I have from the McCain campaign. Often, I received multiple postcards and mailings from Senator Obama's campaign on the same day. I thought the Democratic party was supposed to be the more earth-friendly of the two major parties.

Well, of course, there are also several issues on the ballot this year. Here in Ohio, we have to vote on another casino issue, a payday lending issue, and of course there are massive amounts of school levies on our ballots. I've made no secret of my long-held contempt for school levies (see March's entry "I voted today!"). I should perhaps say that I'm not against certain school levies. I am against school levies that involve mills/millage/property values/property taxes. I suppose I would be in favor of a school district income tax, because I feel that an income tax is more fair than assessing taxes on properties. The county where Mom and Dad live just went through a big scandal when the auditor's office inappropriately assessed property values and I find that to be a perfect example of why property taxes are a hideous way of funding schools. Add to that the discrepancy that occurs between school districts in high value areas versus school districts in lower value areas, and the fact that the state supreme court has ruled Ohio's school funding system unconstitutional (they ruled on this TEN YEARS AGO), and you have several reasons why I hate school levies and refuse to support them.

The school district where I work is not voting on a levy this time around, but the district in which I live is. I already voted (early voting on Saturday) and I voted against it.

I also voted no on the casino issue. Some people may be surprised by this, knowing my affinity for sitting at the poker table for extended amounts of time, but I'm sick of groups coming into Ohio and trying to set up casino gambling. Do I think Ohio should have casinos? Yes and no. Yes, I would love if I could legally sit at a poker table in Ohio and take people's money. Yes, thousands of people cross the border to gamble in the West Virginia, Detroit, and Indiana riverboat casinos. Yes, opening casinos would mean jobs for thousands of Ohioans. Yes, profits from the gambling industry could be used to fund other state projects. Yes, a casino resort could liven up the economy for an area. No, I don't think casinos are a reliable way of earning money for state projects. No, minimum wage jobs are not going to replace the thousands of high-paying union factory jobs the state has lost. No, low income people should not be spending their limited resources in a casino. Yes, people become addicted to gambling and spend more money than they should (or even more money than they have). Yes, it's possible that a casino could lead to increased crime. Yes, casinos are tainted (but only minimally so if you're playing poker).

The main reason I've repeatedly voted no on casinos issues is that it's never been on the ballot as a simple, "Should the citizens of Ohio be allowed to build casinos?" It's always been set up for specific groups, i.e. Indian tribes (please, we live in Ohio, someone please show me where I could find a pure-blood Shawnee), racetracks already in existence in the state, or other casino-owners trying to establish a foothold in Ohio. I don't like the specificity and the restrictions of the ballot initiatives. If the state is going to allow gambling, fine, but let's not only allow for certain groups or in certain areas. When I read the ballot on Saturday, it was quite plain as to the specific location that this ONE casino could be built. No, casinos should be all or nothing. Not this mamby-pamby, only one casino is this one location.

Speaking of gambling, have I mentioned the stupid keno games that Governor Strickland pushed to be put into place? Keno is for old women sitting at the buffet in Vegas. Keno is not for bars in Ohio. Keno is not going to solve the school funding issue in Ohio. Keno is a ridiculous (and practically instantaneous) way for people to waste their money. I hate keno.

The Time Has Come

2008-10-16T15:50:00.004-04:00

Yes, faithful readers, the time has finally come for the ASLTerp blog to insert a picture into a post. I was really just waiting for the perfect picture to find its way to me...and it finally has. This picture is from an episode of The Soup, a show on E! that I don't normally watch, but I saw a video clip of the show on the Internet and knew that I had to find a picture of Spaghetti Cat. I must say that Spaghetti Cat bears a strong resemblence to a certain cat of my sister's. Perhaps Gracie isn't just all fluff from her fur, maybe she's been getting her fill of carbs from large plates of spaghetti?

Anyway, check out the original The Soup clip that debuted Spaghetti Cat and then check out a follow-up clip when Spaghetti Cat makes a random guest appearance on the show. There's also a Spaghetti Cat rebuttal from The Morning Show with Mike & Juliet.

The Funny Thing About Deaf Kids...

2008-10-14T18:07:00.003-04:00

is that they're deaf. Now, I realize to most of you that may seem like an obvious statement. Duh, they can't hear, they're DEAF! But the ability or inability to hear, as the case may be, is really interesting. There's this idea among some of the deaf students that hearing people know everything; and to them it seems as though we do. Think about all of the information you glean just by listening to ambient noise. You hear snatches of conversation at work, you listen to the news on the radio when you drive to work, you hear the kids in your class asking the same stupid question the deaf student might have, but is too embarrassed to ask, etc. I am continually surprised by what the students I work with know (as opposed to what they don't know) because for the deaf students, everything has to be directly taught. They can't pick up on the incidental learning that the hearing kids experience. I don't mean to say that the deaf students are stupid; they're not, they're actually quite bright, but none of the students with whom I currently work have families who know sign language. This means that when the student leaves school and arrives at home, he or she is no longer able to communicate fluently with anyone.

I remember sitting in class one year when the deaf student suddenly reached over and punched me in the arm. Now, it's not unusual for the students to touch me or tap on my arm or leg to get my attention (the two sixth graders I work with this year will actually grab my arm and hold on until I finish signing), but it IS unusual to be punched in the arm. So, this student punched me in the arm and I looked over and asked why the heck he was punching me. He just smiled and pointed to a picture of a VW Bug in the magazine he was reading. I was amazed that this kid knew what a "slug bug" was. Seriously, amazed. For a kid whose family doesn't even understand the simplest of signs, someone, somewhere was able to convey to him that when you see a VW Beetle, you punch someone in the arm for a "slug bug." Probably not a big deal to most of you, but I was fascinated.

One of the reasons why I haven't posted as often as I would like is because I'm pretty tired when I get home from school. Our school has three sixth-grade students who use interpreters and those three students are killing me. They're so out there. They're all very different and they're all very challenging. Typically clueless sixth-graders. The one little girl is incredibly argumentative. She is so stubborn that she will argue with me over sign choices in the middle of class. And normally, I'm all for the student's preferences and input on how I should best interpret in class, but this girl has learned a lot of incorrect signs. Or, sometimes there is more than one way to sign something (much like in English, there are synonyms) and she will not believe that there could be more than just her way of signing things. If she prefers me to use a specific sign (as long as it is the correct sign) fine, but I also want to expose her to more vocabulary and more choices for expressing herself.

One of the little sixth-grade boys also has CP and is in a wheelchair, which is a challenge for most of the staff at my school. They aren't quite sure how to deal with a student in a wheelchair who is also deaf. One of the special accommodations for this student is that he uses a specific restroom that is near the MH (MD if you prefer) room because it is specially outfitted for students in wheelchairs. It is also more private than the general student restrooms. The drawback is that this restroom has a heavy door that the student needs help opening.

Now, getting back to idea some of the students have that hearing people know everything...today as I held the door for the deaf student, I shocked him when he came out and I asked what he had been drinking in the bathroom. Apparently, he was unaware that opening a pop can makes enough noise for someone (me) standing at the doorway to hear. He was pretty astounded that I knew he had been drinking a pop in the restroom. I'm not omniscient, I just have better hearing than some.

Banned Books Week

2008-09-30T17:50:00.004-04:00

If you're familiar with my Sis's blog, you're aware that this week, September 27 to October 4, is National Banned Books Week. It's no secret that I am enthusiastic about reading. Some of my favorite things about school when I was growing up were RIF (a free book to take home? Awesome!) and Book-It (free pizza just for reading some books? Sign me up!). Yes, I did read an entire social studies textbook in one sitting after coming home from the first day of school (second grade, I think). When Grandpa Farr died and the aunts and uncles were cleaning out Grandma and Grandpa's house before Grandma moved east, what was the one thing that Sis and I really wanted from their house, to remember them by? Their set of Little House on the Prairie books. When visiting their other set of grandparents in South Dakota, who has their picture in front of Ma and Pa Ingalls's house in DeSmet, and out in front of some historical marker on the Ingalls's homestead? Two little identical girls obsessed with reading books. We probably read books nonstop on the two-day drive out to South Dakota (scenic Iowa, anyone?).

Were you aware that at one time Laura Ingalls Wilder's books were criticized as "fueling the fire of racism" for their depictions of Native Americans? Attempts were actually made to ban the Little House on the Prairie books. Instead of looking at books like the Little House series and even classics like The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn from a historical perspective and with respect to the author's frame of reference, some people apparently feel that books should be all lightness and fluff. Those people also believe that books that may be offensive to a few should be banned for all. Those people are an affront to the work of patriots like Patrick Henry, James Madison, and Thomas Jefferson who guaranteed our right to read whatever we darn well please by promising authors the freedom of speech and the press in the Bill of Rights.

I work in a middle school filled with nothing but impressionable children. Do I believe that there are books inappropriate for those students to be reading? Yes, at times. Unfortunately, the books that the students should be reading are often frowned upon, while the books that the students should not be reading go unnoticed. True story: a sixth grade student in the study skills class I interpret in had a Nora Roberts book in her possession. I have never read a Nora Roberts book, but I do know where her books are shelved at the public library and I can assume that the subject matter is not appropriate for a sixth grade student. A deaf student with whom I work was reading Mildred D. Taylor's book Mississippi Bridge and was told to return the book to the library because her mother felt that the racial subject matter was inappropriate. Mildred D. Taylor, for those of you unfamiliar with her work, is one of the best children's authors out there. Her work is culturally and historically pertinent, not to mention beautifully written and full of stories about families that aren't dysfunctional.

My point is that reading is a wonderful gift. Books are to be treasured. Realistically, I can't travel the entire world, talk to someone from every culture, inspect every plant and animal, go back in time to meet the pioneers of the American West, etc. I depend on books to gain knowledge and insights into the human experience. Banning books because of fear and hatred isn't the answer.

Check out the American Library Association's list of the 100 Most Frequently Challenged Books from 2000 to 2007.

Widgets!

2008-09-27T09:24:00.002-04:00

Check out my new discovery! I was on the Goodreads site when I discovered that I could use a "widget" to give a sneak peek at my Goodreads Books Read bookshelf. I'm completely un-technically savvy, so I was excited to figure out how to add the html, etc. Hooray!

No School Again!

2008-09-16T15:02:00.002-04:00

Yesterday and today I haven't had to go to work/school because of power outages. Yesterday, the entire district cancelled school; today, my building was one of three or four buildings that was closed. It was pretty awesome to wake up Monday morning and not have to go to school. It was even better today to wake up and not have to go. Even better, I get paid on calamity days (aka "snow days"). So, I'm pretty much getting paid to sit around home, surf the 'net, and watch television (yesterday's activities). Today I actually went out and about. I had to go downtown to the administration building to get my paycheck from last Friday fixed. I get paid by paper check and the checks that the treasurer sent out last Friday had "invalid" signatures, which on my check meant that there was no signature. I'm not authorized to sign my own check, so I had to drive into the admin. building and they stamped my check so I could deposit it. Then I went to the bank, the library, and Target...all while being paid. I love it!

You know what's even better? The fact that I don't have to go to work because my building has no power but I still have electricity here at home. I probably wouldn't be as chipper about the whole power outage scenario if I myself were without power. Like Ma back home. She called me late yesterday afternoon...from her car. Apparently the power at home went out Sunday afternoon and Ma's not sure when it's coming back on. Because Mom and Dad have well water, this also means that the pump is out, so Mom doesn't have any water. Dad, fortunately, is out of town this week and doesn't have to deal with the lack of electricity. Sorry, Mom!

Mom said that she is probably going to have to throw out everything that's currently in the refrigerator and depending on how long the power is out, everything that she has downstairs in the big freezer. Thank goodness my first anniversary has come and gone, otherwise my leftover wedding cake would be a goner (unbelievably, it was still tasty after a year in deep freeze!!). Mom also said that one of the trees at home, the ash tree (she tells me, as if I seriously know which of the fifty million trees at home is the ash tree), broke in half and will have to be chopped down. The house also suffered some minor wind damage; shingles were blown off of the roof and there is some siding that has come loose. Freakiest of all the damage is that one of the big pillars out front was almost blown off of the concrete porch! Yikes!

I'm not sure if I'll have school tomorrow or not...but after two days off, I'm so prepared to stay home again. I'm also not sure if today's school closure will count towards the state's allotted five calamity days. Yesterday obviously will, but since the entire district was not closed today, just a few buildings, I'm not sure if it counts toward the total or not. I'm hoping not, just in case we're closed more this week, and in case we have a lot of snow later this year.

What? It's September already? When did that happen?

2008-09-02T17:15:00.004-04:00

Yikes, I can't believe it's already the second of September! What happened to the months of June, July, and August? More importantly, what happened to my summer vacation? It's gone...over...done...finished...*sob*

Now, before I give any of my readers the wrong impression, I actually do enjoy my job. You readers out there only get to hear about the wonky crap that goes on...teachers who don't know when the World Wars occurred, kids who think I'm speaking Spanish, middle school mayhem, etc. But those topics are what make the best kind of stories. I don't blog about the cool stuff I get to do, like making language possible for students who otherwise would have no means of communication with the world at large, teaching sign language to parents and teachers, interpreting for soccer practice, etc. Not that that stuff isn't fun or inspiring, it's just that I prefer to turn the frustrating situations I face everyday into stories that you can enjoy.

Happy August to You!

2008-08-05T13:01:00.003-04:00

Well, it's been awhile...

Good news: Time Warner came out Saturday and fixed our cable and Internet woes...for the time being.

Bad news (for Time Warner): I still hate you.

I had been unable to post here at home for roughly two weeks, and I was out of town for about half a week, attending an interpreting conference, hence the dry spell.

Not having Internet and cable basically means that I read about fifteen books in the last two weeks. I've already surpassed my book totals for 2006 and 2007, and I'm two away from equaling my total books read for 2005 (a nice even 60). The downside to all this reading is that sometimes I will pick up a book that I've read even just a year or two ago and find that I've no idea what happened as far as plot and characters go. Although, if the book was any good, I usually have a good idea of the plotline, even years later. Well, maybe I shouldn't say if the book was any good, because there are some pretty lousy books that have been seared into my memory. Funny how that works, I can't remember a blessed thing from Wuthering Heights, but I do remember parts of Brave New World, and I can't say that I liked either book.

Memory is funny...the whole reason I started writing down all the books I've read is because of something my brother said to me once. We were talking about all of the Agatha Christie mysteries I'd read and he wanted to know exactly how many I'd read (or something like that) and I told him that I wasn't sure because sometimes the titles are different for the British editions than they are for the American ones, or newer editions sometimes have different titles, etc. Also, I'd read so many of them that sometimes I would pick one up and start reading it, only to find that I had already read it. He suggested writing down all of the ones I'd read (he's a clever one!) and thus the lists of books I've read was born. Usually, though, if I've already read such and such Agatha Christie, I can go ahead and read it again, because I've forgotten whodunit. Plus, I find that I appreciate her books more now that I'm older (I started reading her books in fifth grade and a lot of that British stuff just went over my head). I remember how a few of them turn out, but for the most part I can still enjoy the story.

Time Warner Cable: I Hate You!

2008-07-15T12:23:00.004-04:00

We're still having issues with our cable and Internet provider, the aforementioned Time-Warner. We received our bill yesterday, and, not surprisingly, we did not receive the proper credit for the 14 days we were without service (see previous post: "Hooray! I'm back online!"). Well, I called Time-Warner and talked to "Danny" who was not overly helpful. I questioned Time-Warner's math skills by asking how much one day of DVR, two cable hook-ups, plus Internet, costs, and "Danny" was unable to properly tell me. I then said that if I'm paying $97 for roughly 30 days of service, having no service for 14 days should warrant more than a $12 credit. "Danny" then said that we were credited for ten days, not fourteen. He, rather snidely, asked why we waited so long before contacting Time-Warner to inform them of the outage. So, I replied, "Our cable and Internet services goes out everyday, multiple times per day, so we were waiting to see if it was going to come back on on its own." "Danny" eventually gave me a $32 credit, which is still not correct and then, at the end of the call he said, "You know, I could actually lower your Internet bill to $14 per month, if you would like to add digital phone to your service." I, rather snarkily, replied, "No, I don't think we're interested in doing that right now. In fact, I believe that my husband and I will be canceling our service with Time-Warner because we aren't actually receiving the services we pay for." (Our Internet continues to run slowly, if at all, and we only get picture and sound on about twenty of the hundred or so channels we are supposed to be able to watch.) "Danny's" reply: "Have a nice day."

This is what gets me about Time-Warner: their complete lack of concern for the customers. When we called back on June 15, they said that the soonest they could have someone come out to fix things was June 25. JUNE 25!! And last night I told the man on the phone that we were looking into other cable and Internet servers, that we were still having problems with our Time-Warner service, and that we were seriously considering canceling our service. And "Danny" didn't even have the wherewithal to say, "I'm sorry, how can we help?" Or, "I'm sorry that you are unsatisfied, what can we do to make it better?" We were out with some friends over the weekend and we mentioned our cable problems and our friends made the point that Time-Warner doesn't have to care, they own a monopoly on cable in our area. This is true, and I agree with that, but I made the point that Time-Warner may be the only CABLE providers, but they are not the only Internet providers, and they are not the only TELEVISION service providers. There are other options, and if Time-Warner were smart, they would wake up to that and start treating their current and future customers with a little bit more respect and empathy.

Ah, yes, I should add that I am currently typing this post in the computer lab at the public library.

It's a movie marathon!

2008-07-11T14:31:00.004-04:00

So, I'm on summer vacation. And I love it! I've borrowed roughly 85 books from the library (okay, that includes the 614 books that I borrowed for the summer reading program) and about 25 movies. I highly recommend borrowing movies from the library. It's totally free and one can keep them for about the same length of time that one can borrow movies from Blockbuster. In the last two months I've seen the following: Blades of Glory, Knocked Up, The Darjeeling Limited, A History of Violence (eh, so-so), The Fountain (not recommended, it was pretty stupid), Love Story (a totally old movie that I'd never seen before and when I told my interpreting colleagues about it on our road trip down to Columbus for an interpreting workshop, they all waxed poetic about seeing it in the the theatre and crying over it, etc.), Match Point (another disappointing waste of time), Pride and Prejudice (the Keira Knightley version, not bad), Memoirs of a Geisha (pretty good, but did not do the book justice), The Invisible (really bad and nowhere near as intriguing as the book--translated from the Swedish!), There Will Be Blood (good, but a bit of a bizarre ending), To Catch a Thief (tres bien!), Gone Baby Gone (amazing, Casey Affleck's character was incredible and dealt very interestingly and compellingly with two dilemmas), Emma (the Gwyneth Paltrow version), and today 27 Dresses.

Anyone have some recommendations?

Pardon Me, If I'm Sentimental

2008-07-02T14:49:00.002-04:00

I've heard that people fall into two categories: Beatles fans or Elvis fans. For some reason, most people prefer one to the other. I, for one, cannot decide between the two. If I were asked, my first and immediate response would be to say the Beatles. I have more of their albums, I have a Beatles tee shirt, I have a Beatles calendar, I've seen their movies. Heck, I've even been to their Cirque show in Vegas.

But then I'll hear an Elvis song on the radio and it's all, "Dagnab it, Elvis! I dig your music!!" And then I'll think of all the Elvis songs that I totally love and I decide that it's not possible to like the Beatles more than him. Elvis's songs were all over the place in terms of genre. He was gospel, country, rock, R&B, pop.

But then I'll think about the hilarious movie Help! ("Say no more." "I can say no more.") But then I'll think about "the rain in my shoe," and totally crack up. How can I pick between the two? I think I must be one of the few people that likes them equally as well.

I don't know if my dad reads this blog or not, but he's a huge Elvis fan. I think most of my friends are probably more Beatles fans than Elvis fans. For some reason, I think their music appeals more to the younger generation than does Elvis's. Anyway, no matter who you prefer, for the new poll, you have to pick your favorite Elvis song from the list.

Newbie

2008-07-01T20:25:00.004-04:00

There's a newbie in the blog world. One of my best friends from home has started her own blog. She's written some very kind things about my sister and me and how we've influenced her a little bit over the years. She also referenced some totally crazy things we used to do when we were little and used to ride the bus together. In fact, the title of her blog, Super Sonic Seat 9, is a reference to what was our seat on the bus her mother drove and we rode for many years. My friend is now a Marine and has served in Iraq, most recently for a year in 2007. She's one of the strongest people I know and she's a terrific Marine and a wonderful friend.

Reading Program

2008-07-01T20:14:00.002-04:00

Today we started the reading program and it went well. The little boy I'm working with is pretty fun. He's a total chatterbox, so the whole communication thing was nothing to worry about. I only need to try to steer the conversation more towards the book we are reading and less to his own random first-grade stories. Of course, it's good that he's talkative and wants to communicate and participate in the program, but we're also supposed to be doing some reading. And I got some totally awesome books from the libraries. Kids' books are really great. If you haven't picked up a picture book lately, I highly recommend it.

We are in the LIBRARY! For Pete's Sake!

2008-06-30T20:56:00.003-04:00

So, tomorrow I start the summer reading program and I will be working with a little boy who probably cannot read well, if at all. Today I went to the library to pick out some picture books and I was totally stymied. I don't know if the library professionals who read my blog have different experiences in their libraries, but my local library's children section was a MADHOUSE today. A complete cacophony of chaotic children. I didn't even see that it was storytime or anything. These children were just running around like cuckoos. I couldn't hardly take it. I was not surprised to see that the mother of some of the children was wearing an orange sports bra with NO over-shirt. Even if it were appropriate to go out in public wearing only a sports bra and no shirt, which it is MOST CERTAINLY NOT APPROPRIATE, this was one of the last women on Earth who should have been going about town dressed like that. If one's mother goes out in public clad only in underwear, is it a surprise that her children will run around the library like idiots? It wasn't only this woman's children, though. I was perturbed to see that several other children were running around, shrieking. I don't care if it is the children's section and that we are on a separate floor from the rest of the library, WE ARE IN A LIBRARY! FOR PETE'S SAKE!! Shut up and act with some decorum.

My other beef with the children's section? The complete lack of order in the bookshelves. That is to say, the picture books, which is what I was browsing, searching for materials, were a disaster. Supposedly, they are shelved alphabetically according to the author's last name, but within each letter the books were a mess. There were several that the card catalog said were on the shelf, but I could not locate. WE ARE IN A LIBRARY! FOR PETE'S SAKE!! Let's get some order to these books!

The Spectrum

2008-06-30T20:12:00.004-04:00

Tomorrow morning I start the summer reading mentor program our school district hosts for deaf and hard of hearing students. I will be working with a little boy who is about kindergarten/first grade age. I have not yet met this student but I've been told that he is "oral", which in our district really means that no one at home signs and he has not yet learned how to sign for himself. Our district doesn't have any strictly "oral" profoundly deaf students; the people in charge downtown have at least figured that out, as much as they are clueless concerning other topics. I say this because I've seen oralism in a school district that ran a strictly oral deaf education program. Needless to say, I was horrified by the whole experience.

So, when people in my district say that a deaf student is oral, I know it to mean that the student has not yet started signing as a means of communication, not that the student's parents want to raise the student to be an auditory/oral-only communicator. Tomorrow should be interesting because I have no idea what this child's communication skills will be like and I don't know what to expect when we sit down to start reading a book together. I have prior experience working with a different boy, around the same age, who had no communication capabilities. Seriously. Imagine a six year old child who cannot even pick out a red crayon if asked.

How do I get to work with students who have no language? Well, it's a long and complicated answer, but a good deal of it concerns parents and the professionals they are introduced to at the onset of their child's deafness. Detection of deafness in infants is getting better, but there are still many children who are not diagnosed as being deaf until they are a year or more old. Traditionally, parents have not even thought that their child could have been born deaf until they realize that their child is not learning to speak. By the time the child is diagnosed, a huge delay in language learning has occurred. Often, when parents learn their child is deaf or hard of hearing they are only introduced to professionals who have a medical view of deafness. This means that these professionals view deafness as an ailment that needs to be treated and cured. The child is then fit with hearing aids, possibly with the aim of undergoing surgery for a cochlear implant. Learning sign language is usually not a priority, because professionals with a medical view of hearing loss tend to believe that relying on a visual language hinders the development of a spoken one.

However the process unfolds, it is not uncommon for these deaf and hard of hearing children to arrive at school with NO language base. They have nothing with which to build concepts and apply new knowledge. These children cannot communicate even simple needs.

Of course, that is one extreme. Unfortunately, I've only worked with two students who came from the other extreme. They were brother and sister and were born deaf to deaf parents. I had the experience of interpreting for the sister in her Spanish III class and her English class where they were reading Dante's Inferno. She graduated a few years ago and is attending KSU, majoring in nursing. The brother graduated this year and is going to attend NTID which is part of RIT. He plans on majoring in civil engineering. Oh, the advantage that having access to language from birth gives one.

Most of the deaf and hard of hearing children I know fall in between those two extremes. Most of the kids are pretty fluent at signing (not necessarily in ASL, though) and they do alright when they're at school.

Hooray! I'm back online!

2008-06-25T16:18:00.002-04:00

Well, after two weeks of technical difficulties, I'm finally able to log onto the Internet from home! The cable/Internet provider of northeast Ohio finally came through and I am back to receiving the services for which I pay $97 a month. It remains to be seen if they will accurately credit our account for the 14 DAYS when we were unable to watch our television or use our computer for the Internet.

Alice Cooper: Only partially correct

2008-06-10T13:43:00.002-04:00

Yes, school's out for summer...unfortunately, it's not out forever. *Sigh* One could hope.

Let's see, yesterday was my first official day of summer break, and I actually accomplished some things. I stayed in bed until 8:30 (my version of sleeping in). I don't consider myself a morning person, seriously, if you've ever seen me at school, you would know that first period and I are not friends. But, when one is used to the alarm going off at six a.m., sleeping in till 8:30 is wonderful. Even by mid-summer I will probably not sleep in much past 8:30 or 9:00. I like getting up then because it is still (usually) cool outside and fairly quiet. Also, if I sleep in much past 10:00, I feel like too much of the day has gone by.

So, anyway, yesterday, I got up at 8:30 and packed lunch for someone who DID have to go to school. Haha! Then I sat outside on our balcony and read a library book for a while. A little later on, I drove over to the library and returned a book, signed up for the adult summer reading program and won a prize. The library has three reading programs going on (Sis, are you taking notes?); one is to write down every book you've read and enter them into weekly drawings for tickets to various local activities, i.e. tickets to the zoo, botanical gardens, baseball tickets, etc. At the end of the summer there will be a grand prize drawing for a $100 gas giftcard. The library is also hosting a "book adventure" game where patrons ask for clues and fill out a clue sheet. The third way to win a prize is to locate a hidden passport amongst the stacks. I found one, which is how I won a prize yesterday, and turned it in to the info desk. I got to pick a prize from the prize basket and I picked a water bottle (my other choices were pieces of candy and pencils, so I picked the best prize I could).

After I went to the library, I went over to Target and did some shopping, then I went to the grocery store to pick up milk. After that, I went home and sat outside to do some more reading. I played some games on the computer and did a load of laundry. All of this in the same time that I would normally have been at school.

Ahh, I love summer vacation.

Thank You Mom and Dad

2008-06-04T17:46:00.002-04:00

Thank you Mom and Dad for being sensible, responsible parents and raising sensible, responsible children. Children who did not attend middle school dressed like total streetwalkers. Children who did not attend middle school acting like complete hooligans. Actually, now that I think about it, Mom and Dad, you should really be thanking the three of us, your children. Thank us because we did not act like imbeciles. Thank us because we did not dress like idiots. Thank us for being only mildly annoying and embarassing. Thank us for not becoming drug addicts. Thank us for earning excellent grades. Thank us for knowing the proper way to behave in public. Thank us for respecting our teachers. Thank us for NOT making your lives hell.

True Story: Today was the second to last day of school. I am ready for summer break. The kids think that they are ready for the summer, but they have no idea how happy the staff members are to see them go.

"Because I've been absent and missed that part of health class"

2008-05-30T16:59:00.004-04:00

Sis and I had a conversation yesterday where I mentioned my lie-detecting skills. To fill you all in, I have some sweet lie-detecting skills, especially if the person telling the lie is between the ages of eleven and fifteen. I have honed my skills at work, although, to be honest, one would have to be a pretty big idiot to not be able to detect the lies that the middle school students tell. It's just because they're so bad at it. Middle school students *cannot tell lies*.

It is physically impossible for someone between the ages of eleven and fifteen to pull off a proper lie. And it's hilarious watching one of them try. They become all sincere and earnestly try to look pious, while at the same time maintaining their cooler- and holier-than-thou attitudes. What makes it even better that middle school students are *smarter than adults*. That is why an adult can witness, with his own eyes, a middle school student sending text messages on his or her cell phone during class and be told that no, the student was not, in fact, sending text messages and furthermore, does not have a cell phone on his person. (Sidenote: "That was not on my person!!") The adult must be mistaken, because clearly, the middle school student is of higher intelligence. Middle school students know everything and they are always right. How is this? Well, for those of you adults out there who are unaware of your own condition, by the time one has reached the ripe, old age of thirteen, one has experienced and seen enough of life to become all-knowing. At the age of thirteen, there is no limit to one's knowledge. Parents, teachers, and other adults older than the cut-off age for knowledge (which is when one graduates from high school) have become senile in their old age and will, therefore, fall for anything that a middle school student will say. So, if a middle school student says, "I was not texting! I don't even have a phone!" we adults are supposed to take him or her at his or her word.

This leads me to something I observed today once I had arrived at the bibliotheque. I was standing in the stacks, looking for a book, when I heard a boy approach the reference desk and ask where the sex ed. books were located. Well, naturally, having just left the middle school where I work, my ears perked up and I looked around the bookshelf to see who was asking for the sex ed. book. (I was not at a library the students from my middle school would utilize, so I wasn't looking to see if it was a student that I know, I just wanted to see what the reference librarians' reactions would be). The person who was inquiring as to the location of the sex ed. books was, in my rough estimate, fourteen years old, and the reference librarian was, again in my rough estimate, a sixty-seven year old woman. As I predicted, the reference librarian immediately passed this boy off to the other reference librarian to cover her complete and utter embarassment that a fourteen year old boy was asking for books about "sex ed." The first librarian totally tried to cover herself by saying, "Umm, I'm not sure, let's ask so-and-so." But a person with my lie-detecting skills could see right through that statement (and I was shortly proved to be correct). The other reference librarian, a woman who was probably in her mid-forties, asked the boy what he needed and he repeated his request for help in finding the sex ed. books. The kicker? The kid actually said, "I've been absent and missed that part of health class," as the reason as to why he wished to view the sex ed. books. I almost broke down right there and called that kid on his flimsy lie, after I stopped hysterically laughing (it was a quiet laugh, I was in the library, after all). I was impressed with the second librarian, she calmly looked up the books on her computer and led him to the "sex ed." section. How was I proved to be correct about the first librarian? When the second lady came back to the desk, the first asked her, "It was in the 600s, right?"

I'm incensed by your "Raggedy Old Flag!"

2008-05-30T16:44:00.002-04:00

As I was driving to the bibliotheque today I passed a real estate office that had one of those signs with the interchangeable letters out front. It read, "We're proud of our raggedy old flag." I was briefly taken aback and then I looked to the porch of the office (it was an old house that had been converted into business space) and I saw, indeed, that the realtors had a raggedy, old American flag prominently displayed. I was horrified. Did those people truly believe that they were being patriotic by displaying a frayed and faded American flag in front of their business? I felt like stopping and going into the office and asking them about their sign. Displaying an American flag in that condition is a complete slap in the face to true patriots, not to mention that it makes it seem as though your business is too "raggedy" and cheap to buy a proper flag. Maybe those realtors felt that it was okay to display that flag because of the sentimentality brought on by Memorial Day. As though that particular flag had seen war zones and lived to tell the tale. The only "raggedy old" flags that we should be honoring and feel proud of are those that have survived such circumstances, i.e. the flag on display at the Smithsonian in Washington, D.C.

Random Observations

2008-05-30T16:37:00.004-04:00

Today, as I was driving past Bob Evans, I noticed that the parking lot seemed unusually full for a Friday afternoon. I then looked at the clock and noticed that it was 4:15 and my confusion was cleared.

I also noticed today that my downstairs neighbor has tried to remove the Fred Thompson sticker from his car's bumper. There's still a dash of bold blue ovally sticker left on the white bumper, though. I'm not sure of its meaning. It could be that Fred Thompson refused to be removed from this man's car and conscience. Or it could be that my neighbor only half-heartedly tried to erase his enthusiasm for the Fred Thompson campaign.

Thank You Harriet Beecher Stowe

2008-05-21T18:36:00.003-04:00

True story: Harriet Beecher Stowe saved 300 people, because she was an abolitionist. All of my readers out there, you don't need to worry about checking that fact. It's true. I heard it at school today from my "favorite" teacher.

Fear

2008-05-15T19:17:00.002-04:00

Okay, so yesterday I made a bold statement by saying that only two things scare me. But it's okay because I was borrowing that quote from the first Austin Powers movie. I've thought on the subject some more and I've come to the realization that there are actually many things that scare me. Such as robots. Or men with long fingernails. Or thoughts of the deaf students' lives after high school. But, I thought some more and I came to the conclusion that there are different kinds of fear. For example, robots don't really scare me in the same way that men with long fingernails do, or even thinking about what kind of life a deaf student will have after high school.

Robots scare me because I've seen The Terminator (one and two) and I, Robot. But I still dig robots, like Rosie from The Jetsons. And ROBOT is still one of the greatest signs I've ever learned. It's only certain robots that worry me. I have mixed feelings on that little robot, Asimo, who recently conducted Yo-Yo Ma and the Detroit Symphony Orchestra. I mean, Asimo's cute and all, but programming him to conduct an orchestra is scary. What's also strange is that Honda manufactured Asimo and Detroit welcomed him with open arms to conduct their symphony orchestra.

Men who have long fingernails are also scary. Just thinking about guys with long nails gives me the heebie-jeebies. They creep me out! I don't know what it is, but in going au natural, those men are unnatural.

Oh, and the deaf students. Mostly I worry about what they will be doing in their lives after high school. Out of all of the students with whom I've worked at the high school and middle school, there's only one who I can envision living a successful and productive life. The others have so much conflict in their home lives and they have so many issues communicating with the hearing world that I don't know how they'll end up.

"Only two things scare me...

2008-05-14T17:11:00.005-04:00

and one is nuclear war."

I'm not quite sure what's going on in the parking lot across the street from the middle school, but it looks as though the carnies have come to town and are starting to set up shop. What? Working with middle school students who have just three weeks of school left before summer vacation wasn't scary enough? Now we need to throw some carnies into the mix? Yikes!!

While I'm taking the OAT, I'll be sure to get in some other whole grains, as well.

2008-04-15T21:11:00.003-04:00

Speaking of the OAT, which I just briefly mentioned in my previous post, now that my entire school is focused on taking the test and is currently spending every class period reviewing for it, may I just say that I hate it when people call it the "OAT" instead of the "O-A-T?" No one says, "I have to take the SAT," or "I can't go to the party Friday night because I have to take my ACT on Saturday morning." No. People say "S-A-T" or "A-C-T." In fact, now that I'm thinking about it, most educational abbreviations are pronounced by the letter and not as an acronym. For example: I-E-P, M-F-E, I-D-E-A, B-L-T, L-P-D-C, O-D-E, S-L-T, O-T, P-T. Granted, one probably could not pronounce BLT or LPDC as a word, but the norm in the educational world is to just say the letters.

Saying we need to prepare for the "OAT" just has a folksy/hickish feel to it. Try it. Say "Class, in two weeks you will be taking the O-A-T, " and then say, "Class, in two weeks you will be taking the OAT." Pronouncing the word "oat" just makes the test sound completely dorky.

Although the test is now called the OAT, and has been, I believe, updated and retooled in other ways, I'm glad to say that if I were to take the test today, I would knock it out of the park. I know, I am a college graduate, and should, therefore, easily pass all five parts of the test, but reading through the test with the students has only reaffirmed my conviction that if one is unable to pass the OAT, and consequently, the OGT, one does not deserve to graduate from high school. It seems like every year (mainly because it IS every year) that people make a fuss about the seniors in high school who are unable to graduate with the rest of their senior class because of their inability to pass a simple test.

I'm also taken aback by the teachers I work with at the middle school who will read through the test and then make statements like, "I'm glad I don't have to take this test," or "I'm not sure if I could pass this test." Some of them are kidding, but some of them are not...and that's pretty terrifying. Smarten up! Go eat some Cheerios or something, I think they're made with OATs.

No wonder America is peopled with idiots...

2008-04-15T20:46:00.002-04:00

there are teachers out there who pass along incorrect information. Yet again my favorite teacher (seriously, the LORD is testing me and I'm really trying not to fail) shared some of her wisdom with the class and I was again stuck interpreting it.

True Story: The school where I work is in the midst of reviewing for our standardized state testing, which means that EVERY class has abandoned all lessons in favor of taking practice tests and using review workbooks geared specifically for the state test (formerly the OPT, now the OAT). As some of you may recall, I interpret in an eighth grade social studies class. Currently this class has four adults in it, which is a rarity: the general education social studies teacher, the intervention specialist (who also happens to be the HI teacher who I have made mention of before), a student teacher from the local university, and myself. On Monday, I was interpreting a lecture the student teacher was giving, reviewing the ancient civilizations, i.e. Sumeria, Babylonia, Egypt. The student teacher was in the middle of making the point that all of these ancient civilizations developed near rivers, when the HI teacher piped up and asked the class why these civilizations developed near rivers. Well, the class agreed that it was because people needed fresh water for their crops, drinking, etc., and rivers also provided a means of transportation and sustenance. So, one student raised his hand and asked the HI teacher why, if rivers are fresh water and the oceans salt water, the oceans' water didn't infiltrate river water, thus making all water a brackish mixture. ("Brackish," that's a word that I was familiar with, but didn't quite know the definition of before I went on my educational spring break and visited the Naples Zoo, where I learned that "brackish" means a mixture of salt and fresh water, such as is found at the mouth of rivers that empty into the ocean. Hmph. Who knew that one could learn something while on vacation? My time in Florida was not a total waste).

*Prepare yourself now for the answer.*

*Are you ready? Because I certainly was not.*

The HI teacher's answer? "Rocks. There are rocks at the mouths of the rivers that prevent the ocean water from contaminating the fresh water. The rocks form a barrier, like a wall, that keeps the salty water separate from the river's water."

It's an Idiot Thing; I'm Quite Certain You'd Understand

2008-03-18T15:39:00.005-04:00

True Story: I was working at Hallmark on Sunday when a customer came in wearing a tee shirt that read, "It's a Southern thing...you wouldn't understand," the words framing a Confederate flag. This was on top of the obnoxiously huge Confederate flag belt buckle the man was also sporting. The combination of the tee shirt and the belt buckle irked me to the point that I wasn't sure if I could wait on this man had he approached the register. I was a little taken aback by my level of vexation until I realized a few things:

1. I live in Ohio. Ohio is not and never has been a part of the South.

2. The Confederacy was crushed by Union troops close to 143 years ago.

3. Anyone who wears a Confederate flag in the year 2008 is either ignorant, delusional, or racist. I'm inclined to believe that someone who wears a Confederate flag in the year 2008 is all three of those.

Kent State Rocks My Socks

2008-03-17T16:25:00.003-04:00

Or, I should say, Kent State men's basketball rocks my socks. Let's hope they tear it up like the team did back in '02 when they reached the Elite Eight. Although, I must say that even though the students on campus were excited about that, it was actually more exciting the year before when the Golden Flashes upset Indiana in the first round. I recall that our normally lackadaisical campus was a little bit more, shall we say, spirited that night. (Just out of curiosity, why isn't the opposite of lackadaisical, "daisical?" Wouldn't that make sense?)

Anyhow, I went up to the game Saturday night and witnessed KSU beat Akron for the third time this year. I didn't make it to their first meeting, a home game for Kent, but I went to their game at Akron's J.A.R. arena. That was a good game. Kent was winning by a good margin for most of the game, and then Akron came back to tie it up in the last two minutes...only to be crushed by Al Fisher's three-pointer with two seconds left. It was awesome. Those stupid little Zips fans were stunned. It was great.

By the way, I don't recommend attending a Zips home game any time soon. I, admittedly, am biased, but I don't like their arena. I especially don't like it when their hype man comes out onto the floor, trying to pump up the crowd. There shouldn't have to be a guy out on the middle of the court, screaming into a microphone, cajoling the crowd into supporting their team. That's why there's a student section and, to some extent, cheerleaders. The J.A.R. has a huge sound system, fully capable of blasting one's eardrums out, and when the hype man would yell at the crowd to make some noise, instead of the fans screaming until their vocal cords bled, Akron would just turn the volume on their sound system up, completely drowning out the cheers of the crowd. How lame.

I voted today!

2008-03-04T16:04:00.004-05:00

I voted today and I have the sticker to prove it! Yes, yes, I did my civic duty and voted against every tax levy on the ballot. Actually, I only had to vote down two tax levies, one of them a levy for the local school district. And actually, the tax levies were the only things I voted on, because I am a registered "non-partisan" voter. I like it that way.

I'm tired of school levies. Our state has an unconstitutional public school funding system and I'm saying no to unconstitutionalism. When people decided to elect our current governor, one of his campaign promises was to fix our state school funding, and that hasn't happened. Fix the funding issue already and stop trying to raise property taxes. And allowing people to play stupid keno games in bars isn't the answer, either.

Just when you think it can't get any worse...

2008-02-12T15:40:00.000-05:00

it totally does. My favorite quote of the day?

"I believe China has more people than the United States."

This is a quote from a teacher in my building. Thankfully (?) this is the same teacher who thought that World War I was in 1950.

Growing up, I never thought of myself as a genius (thanks Mom and Dad, for keeping me normal), but the longer that I work in the public schools, the more I seem to feel genius-like. Seriously, who is even questioning whether or not China has more people than the United States? I mean, doesn't one just KNOW?

People of 1950: The Greatest Generation

2008-02-04T16:21:00.000-05:00

Wow, I learned a lot about the year 1950 today at school. Unfortunately, all of it was incorrect. And even more unfortunate was the fact that I was interpreting and could therefore do NOTHING to stop the train wreck which I was witnessing.

Mom and Dad, did you know that you were alive during both World War I AND II? And that you were witness to the invention of both television AND BOMBS?! According to the deaf ed. teacher, all of the preceding occurred in the year 1950!!

True Story: I was in third period study skills today, where the deaf ed. teacher has currently undertaken the task of helping the students prepare for the O.A.T. While this is a worthy and completely acceptable practice, let's keep in mind that there is a mixture of sixth and eighth grade students in that class. And for those of you uninitiated with the intricacies of middle school: there is a HUGE difference between sixth and eighth grade students. Not the least of which is their size; only at a middle school could I feel like a giant AND a midget in the same day. Currently, the sixth graders are studying Mesopotamia and the eighth graders are starting to learn about the Industrial Revolution. Two completely related subjects. (That was sarcasm.) Finally, not only are there two grade levels in the same study skills class, but one of the boys in the class is exempt from taking state standardized tests because he is alternately assessed per his IEP.

So, moving on to preparing for the eighth grade social studies portion of the OAT...the teacher decides to review multi-tiered timelines today. *Sigh* Please tell me that all of you reading this post know what a multi-tiered timeline is. It's when one has one timeline that highlights two sets of events. For example, one could have a single timeline that starts at the year 0 that shows the events of Christ's life on top of the timeline and at the same time shows events that occurred in the Roman Empire at large along the bottom of the timeline. Or, as the deaf ed. teacher today put on the board, one could draw a timeline starting with the year 1800 and progressing in 50 year increments up to 2000. She labeled the top section "Inventions" and the bottom "Major World Wars."

This is where it got a little beyond my belief. The teacher asked the students what had been invented around 1950, and one student replied, "Television." She accepted that answer and added it to the timeline. Then she asked what wars occurred around that time. Not surprisingly, given the label "Major World Wars," one student said, "World War I." Surprisingly, the teacher drew a line from the year 1950 and labeled it WORLD WAR I. She then added WORLD WAR II to that same year. And then she asked what had been invented during World War II. One student replied, "Guns," and she said, "No," so he came back with, "Bombs." Which she promptly added to the year 1950.

By this time, I was in a state I like to call "Robotic Interpreter Mode." When I'm in this state, interpreting my little heart out, I'm just like a computer. I take the information in and put it back out in another language. Computers don't have opinions or feelings, and when I'm in Robotic Interpreter Mode, I don't have opinions or feelings, because if I did, things would get ugly. I was so stunned by this teacher's lack of knowledge that I didn't know what else to do. So, when this teacher said, and this is a verbatim quote, "Yes, the invention of bombs is what made World War II so much shorter than World War I," I just kept my mouth shut, and went right on interpreting like the good little robotic interpreter I can be.

Had I not been in Robotic Interpreter Mode, this is probably what I would have said: "Actually, television was invented in the 1930's. World War I started in 1914 and ended on November 11, 1918. World War II started with Germany's invasion of Poland in August or September of 1939 and ended with the bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki in August 1945. Therefore, World War II was not, in actuality, shorter than World War I. It, in fact, was two years LONGER. Bombs have been around for centuries. Not decades, centuries." Now, if one were to actually research these events, one would find I'm probably not 100% accurate on when they really occurred. But, I do know that they did NOT happen in 1950.

Tom Brokaw was right...to live through World War I, World War II, the invention of television and the invention of bombs, all in the same year, the people of 1950 really were The Greatest Generation.

Cool Book Website

2008-01-16T16:07:00.000-05:00

Hey, I just discovered this cool website that lets you record books that you have read, write reviews, rate them, etc. You can also start a list of books that you are currently reading, books you are planning on reading ("to-read"), and also categorize the books you've finished.

I'm not going to lie to you...I'm a little bit geeky and I have a written record of books that I have read. So, when I found this website I entered all of those books (only going back to January 2005--yes, that was my New Year's resolution for 2005...did I mention I am a bit geeky?) and rated them. I wrote reviews for a few of the books on my list, but I think most of the reviews are for books that I totally hated. Because those are the ones that were, unfortunately, seared into my memory. And even though I have a written list of books that I've read beginning in January 2005, I only added and rated the books that I could somewhat remember and draw an impression of.

I'm not sure if John Q. can check out my list without actually joining the website, because I don't know if there is a way that you can search for a specific user's list, unless you have joined the site and then you can become "friends." (How completely MySpace-ish did that just sound?) But, I think if you search for a specific book, you could find either my rating or my review of that book. And then we could try to link up and be "friends." Right now, I have no friends (was that pathetic sounding?), so I encourage all of you to join and make your own booklists!! Go to Goodreads.

No hablo ingles

2008-01-09T16:14:00.000-05:00

What a wacky day today at school. So, I work for a large urban school district, which means that there are a lot of weird/horrendous/don't-even-want-to-dwell-on-what-goes-on-at-home kind of families in the area. This, unfortunately, is a label that can be applied to some of the deaf and hard of hearing students with whom I have contact. One such student was removed from his mother's custody and is now residing with his grandmother and has a very messed-up home life. Anyway, he attends out of school counseling sessions and has also been speaking with a counselor at school, but not a school counselor. Our school has a community-based agency that houses someone in our building. To make a long story short, we interpreters are not to interpret these counseling sessions because of the conflict of interest. (Seriously, who wants to be sitting in math class trying to interpret a lesson on circumference when you just finished interpreting a counseling session with the same student and heard his real-life horror story, which I hear enough of during the course of a normal day?)

So anyway, I'm walking into the dreaded study skills class (which is not as horrible as the beginning of the year, but still quite unbearable--on a side note, the HI teacher literally snatched my pencil out of my hand today so that she could write a student a pass. I was thisclose to snapping and having an aneurysm to prevent myself from doing something drastic in front of the students. I mean, what adult grabs something out of another adult's hand while she is working, without saying anything? Just thinking about it is making my blood pressure drop (yes, drop, not rise, but that's another story)).

Anyway, back to me walking into study skills class...I see the pastoral counselor attempting to communicate with this deaf student. She actually pulled out a piece of paper and was writing a note to him. Writing a note to him. I bit my tongue and held my hands down and continued walking into the classroom. This deaf student can barely read and she was trying to communicate with him via the written word? It made me wonder how much they really accomplish in their "counseling" sessions. It wasn't my business and I didn't want to make it so, so I left them out in the hallway. But, when the student came into the classroom a few moments later, I asked him if he understood what the counselor was trying to say to him.
***Signed communication is notated by the use of italics***
"Oh, yeah, I understood. I can read her lips."
"Really?" I signed back, "You can read lips?"
"Yeah."
"Okay, what am I saying right now?" I asked, without signing.
"What? I don't understand."
"You don't understand? But you just told me that you can read lips. If you can read lips then why can't you understand what I'm saying?"
Confused look on the deaf student's face.
"How do you communicate with your counselor? Do you understand what I'm saying?"
"I don't know Spanish."
"Spanish? What? I didn't say anything about Spanish."
"I don't know Spanish."
"Spanish? What are you talking about?" I said, as I reverted back to signing.
"I don't know Spanish and you were speaking Spanish."
"I wasn't speaking Spanish. I was speaking English. I don't know how to speak Spanish."
Disbelieving look on the deaf student's face.

The phrase, "do you understand?" is probably one of the most used phrases around the deaf students. For this student to not be able to recognize that common, common phrase when I vocalized it without signing is pretty astonishing. Yet, somehow he is supposed to be solving his personal, familial, and home problems with a counselor who writes notes back and forth and relies on lip reading. Yikes!

New Year, New Poll

2008-01-03T17:30:00.000-05:00

Well, the new year is here and I have a new poll. I got the idea for this one when I saw a performance of the musical Forever Plaid. One of the numbers is a spoof of the Ed Sullivan show that the Plaids perform (in three minutes and eleven seconds!). Admittedly, I did not understand some of the jokes and references because I've never actually seen an episode of The Ed Sullivan Show, but I did know what some of them were, including The Singing Nun. So, when I heard "Dominique," the idea for the new poll came to me.

I'm not using my classifieds, Congress of 1783, mayhap you would like to peruse them?

2007-12-18T21:07:00.000-05:00

The other day I encountered a perfect example that illustrates the gap between the hearing and the deaf students with whom I work. And when I say, "gap," I really mean, the huge, gaping chasm into which all kinds of incidental, academic, semantic, social, mathematical, practical, and artistic (just to name a few) forms of knowledge are poured.

True Story: In eighth grade social studies we were discussing the Articles of Confederation and how they were ineffective as a governing document for the United States. Basically, the newly independent colonists (now Americans), were completely mistrustful of the federal government and wanted to prevent a strong centralized government from having king-like control. So, they wrote the Articles to outline the system of government, but they reserved most of the governing to the states. The federal government was very weak because of this, and could do little to control the states. Congress did not have the power to raise taxes and they had no way of forcing the states to pay the money owed to the federal government from the war. While this discussion was going on in the classroom, I was interpreting for a deaf student. We began to work on a chart explaining what each article was and why it was or was not effective. When we got to the part about the United States being in debt and Congress having no way to collect on their debts, I asked the deaf student why this would be problem. His response? "If Congress needs money, they should get a job." I had one of those moments when I wasn't sure whether or not I should laugh or take the student seriously (frankly, working in a middle school, this happens frequently). "Congress should get a job." Congress. Get a job. This came from an eighth grade student. Thirteen years old and this kid doesn't realize that Congress is not a person, it is an entity. And as such, it can't get a job. Not to mention, he's completely missed the point about Congress's ability (or lack thereof) to raise taxes. Simple, real-world reasoning skills. I still haven't completely wrapped my mind around this one.

The Corruption of Christmas

2007-12-04T17:42:00.000-05:00

The world has gone mad. As I was driving home from school today, I passed a house that had one of those giant, inflatable Christmas decorations in the front yard. The hideous part was that it was a giant, inflatable Nativity scene. I was horrified. Jesus, Mary, and Joseph (was I just naming the characters in the Nativity? Or was I just swearing in an Irish-Catholic fashion? I'm not sure) were all cartoonishly huge and balloon-like. It was soooo tacky.
Oh, this all reminds me of that story from working one Christmas at Hallmark. True Story: One Christmas, while I was working at the Hallmark at home, a girl came in and wanted to know if we sold any Christmas snowglobes. I directed her to the front of the store where we had a display of Precious Moments snowglobes, all featuring a Nativity scene. The girl, who was probably between the ages of 18 and 20, looked me straight in the eye and said, "Oh, is this it? I was hoping you would have something more Christmasy." SOMETHING MORE CHRISTMASY. I kid you not. Is it even possible to be more Christmasy than a scene depicting the birth of Christ, Himself?

New Poll

2007-11-29T21:10:00.000-05:00

The new poll is up. This one is tricky, because, frankly, both of those songs are horrendous. I keep waffling back and forth over which song is actually worse. Every time I go to vote for "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer," because of the absolute crudeness and annoying vocal tones, I then hear the whiny voice of the kid in "Christmas Shoes," begging for some stupid footwear for his sick mother. Seriously, Mom, if you were sick, would you really want me to beg for some special Christmas shoes for you? Wouldn't you rather that I donate a kidney for you or something? But then, when I decide that I'm going to vote for "Christmas Shoes," I realize how much I really, really hate GGROBAR.
It's a conundrum, plain and simple.

I like Vanilla, and I like Coke...but I don't like Vanilla Coke.

2007-11-15T21:40:00.000-05:00

Hey this idea comes from a post a while back...Sis and I were talking about Andy Rooney and his general zaniness. I mentioned the title sentence about Vanilla Coke (which is a true statement) and Sis had used the statement, "I like peanut butter and I like cookies, but I don't like peanut butter cookies." Which is a total lie, because she does like peanut butter cookies, including, but not limited to, Nutter Butters and those peanut butter cookies with the Hershey Kisses on top. So, I'm wondering...can you guys come up with some other good comparisons following the pattern from above (two things that you like separately, but not in tandem)? And, they have to be real combinations, not like, "I like cheese and I like chocolate ice cream, but I don't like cheesy chocolate ice cream," or something ridiculous like that.
I'm looking forward to your responses.

Sis, are you okay?

2007-11-02T22:57:00.001-04:00

Sis, are you doing okay out there? I haven't heard from you for a while. You haven't posted anything on your blog (The Crafty Snicklefritzes) and you haven't posted any comments to mine for a few days now. You haven't called and you haven't emailed. I know you're having a rough week, what with Robert's death and all. But, cheer up! You can always pull out the records and listen to him belting out "Camelot"!!

What is the one sign that I cannot sign...

2007-11-02T22:37:00.000-04:00

without completely losing it and cracking up? ROBOT. That's right, I cannot interpret the word ROBOT. I can't handle it. Even thinking about it while typing this entry is making me chuckle. Seriously, try signing it. I challenge you to sign it in a serious manner. It's impossible. And really, when I'm in the middle of interpreting something and most of my signs only last about a second, I can't help but drag out the sign for ROBOT to about five seconds.
So why is this a problem? Well, currently the seventh graders are gearing up for the good ol'Science Fair. Yes, it's that time of year again. The time when young adolescents dream of grandeur and making the impossible possible. This past week we've watched two videos about science fair projects and ideas, we've visited the computer lab to look at websites with ideas and project help, and we've viewed past science fair projects. All leading to today, when the students had to submit their final topic proposal.
If you haven't done so recently, I recommend talking to a seventh grader. No, really. Have a conversation with one. I promise you, it will be fantastical and hilarious; especially if you ask one to think of a science fair topic. These kids haven't grasped the concept of what is measurable and testable. And, they haven't realized the limits of their own knowledge and ability. Really, that can be a good thing, I mean, all kids should have high goals and strive towards achieving them. But, when a student has difficulty remembering to place his completed homework in the correct tray before the bell rings, it's a little difficult to approve a science fair proposal in which he wishes to construct a robotic arm.
Yes, this is where the sign ROBOT comes into play. My favorite video of the week (note that all interpreters hate interpreting videos) was one that was probably 18 years old and featured a boy who did create a robotic arm. Let's just say that that science class was not one of my finer moments in interpreting; it was a video from 1989 and the word "robot" was used roughly 52 times.

Last Post of the Month

2007-10-31T22:20:00.000-04:00

Happy Halloween!!
I didn't do anything special and I didn't get to hand out candy. :o( Still waiting for the day when I will get to spread chocolaty goodness out to the little becostumed (I just made that word up) children of the world.
Yesterday I had the opportunity of interpreting for a kid while he was being suspended. I always enjoy seeing the deaf kids called on their behavior, mainly because most of the teachers and administrators let them get away with so much. "Oh, it's okay if little Johnny is late to class, he couldn't hear the bell." "Oh, Susie just misunderstood what was expected of her." Excuse me while I go vomit. This kid knew exactly what he was doing, but he plays the innocent fool really well.

Poll

2007-10-26T16:16:00.000-04:00

Ohmygosh!! I just found out that you can add polls to your blog. I'm so super pumped. Check out my first poll! I know the question is slightly generic and I can probably predict every person's response (of the people whom I actually know read my blog), but who cares? Do the poll anyway!!!!

Waiver Day

2007-10-26T15:54:00.000-04:00

Today we had what is known as a "Waiver Day," which means that the kids didn't have to come to school and that we had to sit through meetings all day. Actually, today's waiver day wasn't too bad. In the morning we had presentations about special ed., in which the interpreters participated. I had to speak about processing time by using the question, "Why is the interpreter still signing even when I've [the teacher] stopped talking?" This was a good one because most teachers don't realize that we have a "lag" or "processing" time when they are speaking. Some teachers are even of the mindset that if they have finished speaking and the interpreter is still flapping her arms, that she must be feeding answers to the deaf students. So, I gave a brief spiel about that. I also mentioned how impossible it is for an interpreter and by default, the deaf student, to keep up with a class if it is conducted in a rapid-fire question and answer format. The deaf student will always be behind and unprepared to answer when called on, until he has been caught up by the interpreter.
We also had a question about disciplining the deaf student: if it is the responsibility of the teacher, the interpreter, or both the teacher and the interpreter. Many teachers answered, "The interpreter." This is not so. It is the teacher's responsibility to uphold classroom and behavior management and that includes any deaf students in their class. Of course, there are times when the educational interpreter has to sit up and say, "Hey, I'm an adult and a staff member," and be a part of the disciplining or monitoring of student behavior.

Who doesn't love a good cuckoo clock?

2007-10-26T15:49:00.000-04:00

Who? No one, that's who. That's right, I'm speaking for the entire world population when I say that everyone loves cuckoo clocks. How could one not? They're so happy and jolly; one can't help but be cheered by them.

Worst Banking Customers Ever!

2007-10-22T20:33:00.000-04:00

Yeah, Mom, you think you would have taught us better than this...but, Mike and I have become some of your dreaded "worst bank customers." Saturday morning (who am I kidding, we all know it was barely morning), Mike and I went to the bank to update our accounts. We both had checks to deposit and then we needed to add Mike to my account and change my name, etc. And we decided to add Mike to my account based solely on the fact that I have my account number memorized and he does not have his memorized. Forget the fact that he actually has direct deposits, etc. That was of no consequence to my way of thinking. Anyway, we get to the bank and we get in line to make our deposits, and I have completely filled out my deposit slip, while Mike has not. Because, as I mentioned just four sentences ago (you're going back and actually counting the sentences now, aren't you?), I have my account number memorized and Mike does not have his memorized. So, there, strike number two against Mike: no account number on his deposit slip. You're probably wondering what strike number one was...it was Mike and me walking into the bank at 11:55 Saturday morning. That's right, we had serious banking business to do, and we waited until five minutes till close in which to conduct it. Mom would be so proud. Not.
But wait, it gets better...once we make our deposits, we still have to meet with a personal banker and set up Mike on my account and do a name change. This actually took a lot of time because the guy we met with seemed to sit and stare at his computer screen a lot while we were there. He would tap on his keyboard for a few seconds and then sit and stare. So, the bank either had a really slow operating system, or a really slow operator, not sure which. Strike number three: Mike and I had to have the doors unlocked for us as we exited the bank at twenty after twelve.

The Tribe Rocks My World!!

2007-10-15T21:05:00.001-04:00

Ack, I don't want to type too much about the Tribe right now, since the game is still in progress, not like I really have the power to jinx them...even if I believed in jinxes...(but they're pounding the Redsox right now!!)
School was all right today. One of the students was absent, so I don't have any good social studies stories. No, wait, I'm lying, I can share a story from last week. True Story: There are seventh grade students in this world who do not realize the difference between Zeus and Jesus. And when I say this, I mean, one of the teachers was trying to tell the students that Greek mythology was a bit like religion because there were gods and goddesses and people worshipped and prayed to them. But Zeus was not a real person. Jesus was. (Or as the billboard I pass on my way home to Mom and Dad's proclaims: "Jesus is real.") For some reason, this concept was really difficult for some of the kids to understand. Jesus was a real person. He really lived on this Earth. He walked around. He spoke, ate, slept, etc. Zeus (and the other Greek gods/esses) were never living, breathing beings. Some of the kids couldn't quite grasp this difference. And then, some of the kids kind of understood this, but they kept asking how the teacher could say, "Jesus was real," when you're not allowed to teach religion in school. So then the teacher had to explain that she was not preaching religion, that she was merely stating a truth. Regardless of your religious convictions, people like Jesus, Siddhartha, and Muhammad really lived. And it's okay to talk about them in a historical context when we are in school. This was an intriguing conversation for the kids. It was a good social studies class, because the kids were really thinking critically about how you can speak about religions without preaching and that (at least) three of the world's major religions were founded by the ideals and teachings of people who really lived.
It was good, too, because so much of social studies class is so distant for the kids. Meaning, they know that when we discuss Pericles or Julius Caesar, that these were real people. But they can't relate to stories about the Peloponnesian War or life in Sparta. This is how I hear students ask how the ancient Romans connected to their MySpace page if there was no electricity back then. The events that we discuss have no personal meaning for them. These are kids who have never known a lack of technology. But, for some reason, the teacher emphasizing the realness of Jesus forged a connection with some of the kids. Perhaps it is that they have so separated church and school, that for these kids, to take someone from the church realm and insert Him into the school realm made it real. I don't know. It was like the Helen Keller "water" experience. The light bulb came on for some of the students.

Hooray! No School Today!

2007-10-12T10:24:00.000-04:00

Ahh, the best part of my job...days when we don't have school. Oh, yeah, there are those days that I help the deaf kids actually learn something new. Those are good days, too. But, let's face it, I work in a middle school. I have to put up with, listen to, and observe a lot of nonsense before we can actually learn anything new or exciting. And, don't worry, we may not have school today, but I'm still learning. I have Sesame Street on as I type. So far, I've learned about the letter "D" and the number "17." I've also learned about feelings with Dr. Phil and the muppet Dr. Feel; and right now Oscar is busy grouching about something (have you ever noticed that Oscar is like the Andy Rooney for the four-year-olds of the world?). They just had Evelyn Glennie on, which was cool because she is deaf, but it was a little discouraging because when Oscar and Telly asked her how she knew what they were saying, she said that she could read their lips. Now millions of little children are under the impression that deaf people can read their lips. Very, very few deaf people can accurately read lips.
Speaking of deaf people, you should check out this short film. It's in BSL, but some of the signs are similar to ASL. http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=8NoOKcpZzGE

But ours goes to 11...

2007-10-06T12:07:00.000-04:00

I interpret in two social studies classes: seventh grade and eighth grade. The seventh grade class is the one where the kids are currently studying ancient Greece (big test on Monday); the eighth grade class is currently studying the events leading up to the Revolutionary War. When I was in eighth grade our social studies class was all about Ohio history, which they no longer study. This makes me a little sad, because the kiddies should know about the cool stuff George Rogers Clark and Simon Kenton did and it ticks me off, because the kids should have to memorize all 88 Ohio counties like we were forced to. Not like I seriously remember all 88 counties...one time Sis and I were on a road trip and we tried to name all 88 and failed miserably. I believe we could remember about 45 of them. And back in the day before Ohio went to number stickers on the license plates to identify the county, when one could still read the name of the county on the bottom of the plate, I can recall being surprised every now and then by one of the counties that I had forgotten about.
Nowadays, the eighth grade kids are supposed to learn the states and capitals. I find this to be laughable, mainly because this is something pupils in my time had to learn in the fourth grade. Also, it's slightly upsetting to realize that the eighth grade students cannot find most of the states on the map, let alone their capitals. I mean, is America becoming the land of the idiots? Now, I admit, I do confuse Vermont and New Hampshire; at times, forgetting which one is west of the other (although, thanks to me vicariously repeating eighth grade, I've learned which one is which). But, some of these kids have difficulty finding Pennsylvania and Kentucky; these are states that border Ohio and they can't locate them. Thankfully, these students CAN locate Ohio.
Anyway, right now we're studying the events leading up to the Revolutionary War and the students participated in an activity where they had to pick up different cards describing the events (i.e. The Stamp Act, the Boston Massacre, the Proclamation of 1763), read the cards, and then fill out a chart with summaries of each event. On the chart, the students had to rank how upset they would feel about each event, on a scale of 1 to 8 (one being not upset, eight being upset enough to revolt), and then provide an explanation for their ranking. Some of the rankings were interesting, such as the kid who put down a 1 for the Boston Massacre, explaining that the colonists were the one who provoked the British. And then there was the deaf student with whom I work, who put down an 8.5 for one of the events. When I saw that one, I was like, "M------, the scale is only one to eight. It doesn't go any higher." I think he thought it was a 1 to 10 scale. But when I was saying that to him, the whole time I was thinking, "But ours goes to 11..."

Speaking of soccer injuries...

2007-10-02T17:01:00.000-04:00

During the varsity game, the deaf kid for whom I interpret got knocked down by someone from the other team. He was down for a little while and so the coach and I started to run out onto the field. (Once again, on the outside, I was projecting a cool and in-control persona, but on the inside I was like, "Yikes! I'm running onto the field!") I had thought that once we came up to the deaf kid we would see blood pouring out of his nose or something, but he looked okay, and he actually got up before the coach and I reached him. But, since we had run out, according to the rules, this student had to leave the game (he went right back in after he reached the sideline). Apparently someone's elbow connected with his jaw when they were going after a ball and it knocked him down.
But this whole experience, coupled with the earlier experience of the ambulance carting some other kid off, actually made me wonder: what happens if that WAS the deaf student? Am I supposed to go with him in the ambulance? What about when we reach the hospital? I'm not trained in medical interpreting. What if I signed something wrong? Would I be liable? But seriously, I'm not going to NOT go with some deaf kid if they're injured. I asked our lead interpreter and she said that she would check into it, but as of right now, I don't think that our district has a policy outlining our (interpreter) role in that situation.

Say it with me, "I'm the adult here."

2007-10-02T16:41:00.001-04:00

Yes, I am the adult. No, I probably shouldn't be as hyper as the kids with whom I'm working when the ambulance pulls up to the soccer field.
True Story: Last Thursday I was interpreting for a soccer game. Actually, there were two games, JV and varsity, with the JV game being first. So, I was sitting with the varsity team, watching the JV game, when one of the kids on our JV team went after a corner ball. A kid from the other team kicked it and it ricocheted off of our kid's upper leg. Our kid then proceeded to let out a horrendous shout and fell to the ground, screaming. Well, the varsity team and I at first thought that this kid was just making a big production out of getting hit with the soccer ball. I mean, shoot, I've been hit with a soccer ball about fifteen times in the past three years that I've been interpreting for the team (knock on wood, I haven't been hit yet this year). Sure, depending on how hard the ball was kicked, it can sting; but, I've never screamed about it. Mostly, when it happens to me, I just turn around and give the kid who kicked the ball the evil eye. And, I'm a 27 year old female and therefore have a way higher pain-tolerance threshold than some 15 year old boy, but still, we were baffled as to this kid's screaming. Well, this kid remained on the ground, screaming for several seconds, when we figured out that something else must have happened. Apparently this kid landed on his ankle wrong and broke it. THANK GOODNESS I didn't hear the snapping of bone and cartilage. I can take a lot as an interpreter (True Story: I once had a girl throw a mouse on me), but I don't think I would have been able to handle that. Needless to say, the coach called 9-1-1 and an ambulance came. The varsity team, including the deaf student, and therefore me, were totally sucked into the drama of it all. It's times like those that I have to remind myself that I am the adult and therefore cannot let myself get carried away. Just like the other day at the middle school when the electricity went out. On the outside, I'm projecting a cool and in-control persona, but on the inside I'm saying, "Oh my gosh, maybe we'll be sent home early!!"

A Message From God???

2007-09-26T16:25:00.000-04:00

Let's see, today is Wednesday, so it was on Monday...
Monday I was sitting in math class, interpreting a lesson on complementary angles and supplementary angles, when one of the freakiest things I've ever seen happen happened (yes, I know I just repeated the word "happen," read the sentence aloud and it will make sense). Well, first of all, we're in a classroom that overlooks the street. So, we hear this loud BOOM and the lights go out. We looked out the window, and I saw a utility pole across the street swaying back and forth, but we didn't see a car or anything, so we figured that it could not have been an accident that caused the power failure. Of course, the entire class followed the teacher, the other interpreter in the room and me to the window and they have their faces pressed up against the glass, trying to see what happened, even though there really wasn't anything to see. Yet. Because then we saw a utility pole on our side of the street go nuts. There was a blue light, which I describe as similar to the burning bush effect in The Ten Commandments, totally unreal-looking, yet still happening. So, this blue light is coming from the wires on the utility pole; it flashed for about three seconds and then a huge explosion of sparks went off with another loud BOOM. By this time the kids are freaking out: "We're going to get to go home early!" "Ohmygosh! What was that?!" "The school's going to blow up!" "Do we still have to do our lesson if we don't have electricity?" You can imagine a classful of middle school students in the midst of the excitement outside. Because, let's not forget to mention the school security guard, the school police officer, the principal, numerous members of the janitorial staff, and a couple of lunch ladies, who ran outside to see what was going on. The power is trying to come back on, it flickers a few times, and then somehow it comes back on for good. We still can't see for sure what happened. We were thinking that since there was no actual car accident in sight that perhaps there had been a huge power surge or something. The kids slowly got back to their seats and we continued on learning that complementary angles add up to 90 degrees and supplementary angles add up to 180. Eventually, by the end of the day, we learned that a delivery truck (a semi) for the grocery store across the street had snagged the power line and pulled it down. The utility pole was broken off and power lines were snaking across the street. Part of the road was closed down and it was a mess getting the kids dismissed in a safe manner (although, we probably wouldn't have missed a few of them, had they been silly enough to approach the downed lines).
Seeing the wires light up and spark was seriously one of the craziest, weirdest, unbelievable things I have ever physically witnessed.

Deaf World Order

2007-09-20T21:44:00.000-04:00

I interpreted for the soccer team tonight. *Sigh* If only they would win some games...they work so hard in practice but when it comes to the games, it's like they're scared to get physical and go after the ball.

Anyway, while we were waiting for the JV team to finish up their game, the kid I interpret for outlined his plan for the future...the future where Deaf people rule the world. It was actually quite interesting. He had all of these social classes figured out, with Deaf people at the top, followed by hard of hearing people, and hearing people at the bottom.

It's all over but the Timtex

2007-09-19T22:57:00.000-04:00

So, I've been working on a sewing project the past couple of evenings, and I'm almost done, so I'm pretty excited. I just have to press it, insert the interfacing, and do a final stitch around the perimeter. I'll see if I can get some pictures up when I'm all done. Although, I'm sure my pictures will be nothing compared to my sister's. Check out her uber-crafty blog at thesnicklefritzes.blogspot.com. She's got a lot of cool stuff posted.

Okay, so it's been a week, cut me some slack

2007-09-17T18:30:00.001-04:00

Yes, this is my third post of the day. But, I hadn't posted in a week, so I have lots to say. I just emailed a link to my blog to Ma and Pa, and I realized that my last entries were mostly just complaints about the HI teacher. I do have positive things going on in my life, too. Like, Saturday, I went to the KSU football game and watched them totally stomp Delaware State. Looking at a home team winning scoreboard while at Dix Stadium is a little weird. I don't think I ever experienced that when I was a student in the marching band. But, it was Delaware State, so it should be expected that Kent win.
I ran into a couple of good friends from the marching band, too, so that was cool. I didn't get to spend much time talking to them after the game, though, because Mike and I had friends coming over to the apartment and we had to hurry home and finish cleaning. That was cool, too, because we haven't had too many people come over and hang out at our place.

SimCom Insanity

2007-09-17T17:57:00.000-04:00

I can't believe I forgot my True Story of the day.
True Story: I was interpreting in third period "study skills" and the HI teacher was rather ridiculously trying to sign for herself. I say "rather ridiculously" because it is a well-known fact that it is IMPOSSIBLE to sign and speak at the same time. It really is. I liken it to speaking German and writing Spanish at the same time. You can't do it, right? Well, in much the same way, you cannot speak coherent English and sign coherent American Sign Language at the same time. You can't even speak fluid English and sign correct Signed English at the same time. It's impractical, unfeasible, and just not possible. You will either speak proper English and drop signs or you will speak broken English and sign correctly. Either way, you get massive miscues and ungrammatical and nonsensical utterances in both languages.
So, the HI teacher is speaking to the kids in "study skills" while attempting to sign simultaneously. Let's not forget that I am an interpreter in the classroom, who is there to provide interpreting services. So, I can see one of the students turning his head as though he were in attendance at Wimbledon, trying to decided at whom he should be looking. Finally, this student raises his hand and signs, to the teacher, "I don't understand what you are signing." I, of course, being a good interpreter, adhered to the Code of Ethics, and voiced this in the manner in which it was spoken (in this case, signed), which means that I had to supress the exasperation that I was feeling on the inside. Still waiting to see if the teacher will get a clue.

The Greatest Day the World Has Ever Known

2007-09-17T17:31:00.000-04:00

Hmm, it's been a week, so it must be time to update the world as to my latest shenanigans.
Last week our lead interpreter at school had a meeting with our special education coordinator and the SST (don't ask, I don't know what that stands for), basically, our bosses downtown. I don't know what all was on their agenda, but I sent an email to the lead terp with a list of "concerns" concerning the HI teacher at the middle school. Naturally, I presented the concerns in a diplomatic way. I'm hoping this means that the powers that be downtown are now aware that they placed someone in the TOD position who was not properly prepared. Why would you hire someone and then not train them on the use of audiological equipment or how to use interpreters, etc.? Of course, they may now be aware, but that does not mean that they will remedy.
Of course, last week also saw the 27th commemoration of The Greatest Day the World Has Ever Known. If you're in doubt over the validity of claiming September 11, 1980 to be The Greatest Day the World Has Ever Known, ask yourself, "Was my life better before September 11, 1980 or after?" Seriously, I can guarantee your life has improved since that day.

2007-09-10T16:06:00.000-04:00

Hmm, anything cool happen at school today? Of course not, I'm doomed to work in a middle school. And we all know that there is NOTHING cool about middle school. Hmm, speaking of middle school, The Backstreet Boys just started playing on my Yahoo! radio station. How did that happen? I don't remember selecting the teeny-bopper station.
One of the interpreters was out today and we all had to cover for her. That was not fun. Although I did totally love going into third period "Study Skills" and telling the HI teacher that I couldn't interpret for her that period. YES, THE DISTRICT-HIRED TEACHER OF THE DEAF USES A SIGN LANGUAGE INTERPRETER IN HER OWN CLASSROOM. The look on her face was priceless. Can someone please explain the logic in hiring a woman to be the HI teacher when she has no experience teaching deaf students? She hasn't signed for years. And believe me, I went through three years of the same deaf ed. program where she earned her degree, so I know who her professors were, and I know what the teaching philosophy was. This woman is not one of the first people I would pick to put in a classroom with deaf students. In fact, any person reading this post could probably do a better job of working with these deaf students than the current HI teacher does, and yes, that includes you, Bosco, reading over your mother's shoulder. At least Bosco would have the sense to refrain from using the term "deaf, dumb, and blind" in front of the students.

Bedtime

2007-09-09T00:42:00.000-04:00

Now that I have a blog, I keep meaning to post more to it, but I'm getting pretty tired tonight, so I don't think I will take the time to type much. I have to work at my ridiculous Hallmark job tomorrow, unfortunately. I'm getting pretty sick of that job; I don't think I'll be there much longer.
Here's a good one for all of you. True Story: A girl in social studies class asked (on Thursday), "Why would people go hunting and kill animals when they could just go to the store and buy their food there?" Let's take into consideration the fact that we are currently discussing the land bridge and the peoples of prehistoric America. Then, let's take into consideration the fact that if you're buying meat at a supermarket, it had to have been killed by someone at some point along the line.
Goodnight.

When You're in the Dungeon...

2007-09-09T00:40:00.000-04:00

do NOT, I repeat, DO NOT pick up a duck.

MySpace + Ancient Rome = HUH?

2007-09-04T19:31:00.002-04:00

Oh, school. Is it May yet?
Seriously. Is it? Because I'm not sure that I can handle going through middle school again this year. Last year was alright. I was in seventh grade and it was cool. Okay, not cool, because it was seventh grade, but cool as in, "I'm okay with this." I'm not so sure about this year. I just don't remember having that much DRAMA and STUPIDITY in my life at that age.
True Story: We were discussing the Roman Empire and their amazing network of roads and their ability to carry messages from one corner of the empire to the other in a matter of days. The point was being made that the Ancient Romans did not have electricity, and therefore, no telephones, television, or Internet. One girl actually asked how the ANCIENT ROMANS would access their MySpace pages if there was no electricity. One would think that having been told that there was no electricity would then lead one to the knowledge that there was no such thing as MySpace. Not true of the middle school students in Akron.