"A Word to All You Feminists"

Again, from Stephen Colbert's I Am America (And So Can You!) 2009 desk calendar:

"A Word to All You Feminists:

Stop 'liberating' moms by trying to make them join the workforce. They're already doing the job that God put them here to do: Everything."

Thanks, Mom, for doing everything.

We're under attack! Of course we're having a snow day!

Apparently, the entire Northeast Ohio region is under an "Arctic Assault." Somehow, I think I'll pull through. It takes more than a few feet of snow and single-digit temperatures to discourage me. I wish I could say the same for some of my fellow Buckeyes. People, we live in Ohio. That means there will be snow and cold temperatures. It happens every year; it's not a surprise.

The "Arctic Assault" reference is courtesy of the local CBS affiliate, whose local news I detest. I was catching up on some of my recorded shows when I caught literally five minutes of the four o'clock news broadcast (yes, the CBS affiliate obscenely has a two and a half hour block of local news everyday--from 4:00 to 6:30) and heard no less than four anchors and weathermen refer to the weather as an "Arctic Assault." These people are so ridiculous. In fact, they continue to harp on the low temperatures and the windchill, while I turn to the NBC station and find out that there has been a PLANE CRASH in the Hudson River. A PLANE CRASH!! I turn back to CBS and see that they have their "girl on the street" talking to some snow-plow drivers and remarking upon her "spunky" hat. Seriously.

I know a lot of people who have disparaged the northeast Ohio local news, but the CBS affiliate is the worst. I will never forget the time I was watching the news and the on-location reporter actually swore in his report. He was talking about some sinkhole/pipe/water main problem in some neighborhood and he literally said, "The residents here are mad as hell," (and I remember the quote verbatim because I was so stunned a reporter actually used the term "mad as hell"). What local news broadcast uses that kind of language and then actually wants to be taken seriously?

I have to change the channel...the weatherman just referred to the temperature as being "stupid cold." Ack.

New Year's Resolutions

Well, I see from the poll that everyone out there approves of New Year's Resolutions. Does that mean that all of you set some goals for yourselves this year? I actually wrote a few resolutions because I think that setting goals, as long as they are realistic, is a good thing to do and what better time than at the New Year?

Some of my resolutions include cooking more at home (we tend to eat out a lot because it's more convenient) and learning to cook some new things. I also would like to use my sewing machine more often. I don't know if I can achieve the craftiness level of the Snicklefritzes (see the blog), but there are some projects I would like to try. I would also like to learn how to use a pattern (up till now I've only sewed things by cutting them out after using a ruler to measure lengths). Patterns that come in envelopes are little bit scary.

I thought about coming up with some kind of resolution concerning books and reading, but I read ninety books last year and I decided that quantity isn't quality. I don't mean that I read a lot of stupid books last year, because I didn't (although there were certainly a few that I gave bad reviews on Goodreads), but I don't think that I need to set some kind of a goal in regards to reading. I already read a lot.

Professionally, I think I would like to try some community interpreting (probably during the summer). I'm so used to working with children that it would be nice to be exposed to some different levels of language use. I recently took the EIPA which is an interpreting assessment for educational interpreters. I did okay, but I know that I can improve my score, so I want to either retake it at some point or take the RID/NAD certification test, the NIC, which is a generalist assessment of skills. And, finally, now that I'm a full time interpreter my degree and years of experience actually play a role in my salary level, so getting a master's degree would be beneficial. I'm thinking, if I want to stay in the educational interpreting field, that I should get a master's in literacy/reading education because of all the language issues that I deal with everyday. If I want a master's in interpreting I'd have to go to Gallaudet. I don't know.

"Old People"

Monday's page from the Stephen Colbert "I Am America (and So Can You!)" page-a-day calendar featured Stephen's thoughts on "Old People." It's pretty hilarious, especially if one is aware of the medical history of my husband.

"Old people are tough. They made shoes out of newspaper and twine, and subsisted on a thin stew of newspaper and twine. Sometimes they had to go without shoes and stew altogether so that there would be enough newspaper and twine to treat the baby's Scarlet Fever."